Road Less Traveled

What if we didn't have kids.

2011-09-02T23:15:00.002-04:00

This was not "my week." Nor was it "our week" as a family.

Except for the past day or two, everything about home life, and kids in particular, has been pretty awful. It started with Micah and Julia suddenly succombing to super-allergies with stuffy noses, coughs, fitful nights etc, at the end of last week. Then, on Sunday night, Julia and I won a trip to the ER for her croup which was much worse than she's ever had it before. Monday, three of my four children had super-soaked their pull-ups/diapers during the night leaving me with three beds' worth of laundry to do...plus all the regular laundry of course...and running on 5 hours of sleep after said trip to the ER. Julia whined...she wailed...she threw temper tantrums...and life just did not add up the way she wanted it to be for her miserable little 21-month-old self. Micah and Judah fought. They hit each other. Talked back. Disobeyed...And this trailed into Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I have been experiencing worsening pain in my right shoulder after feeling something rip/tear when picking up one of the kids the other day. And it's been one of those "really busy" weeks at work for Gabe which means less Daddy and Husband time in the evening. The list goes on.

You get the picture. And it doesn't take rocket science to realize that all of the things mentioned above (minus Gabe's job) have the common denominator of "kids" in them. What would my week have looked like without these precious, frustrating, stinkin' smart, beautiful children of mine?

Probably not like this week had turned out to be. Certainly I wouldn't have had four smiling faces in my days, but I would have had a heftier paycheck, been wearing clothes without snot and spit-up on them, had more stimulating adult conversation, and the absense of all things whiney, goey, messy, and whiney. (Did I mention whiney?)

Fast forward to tonight at dinner time. I love it when God whacks me over the head with very simple things. He's done that a lot in my life, and I am so thankful for His patience and lovingkindness in doing so. Maybe I wouldn't have caught this nugget so loudly if it hadn't come with the backdrop of such a horible week. The story goes like this:

We were all sitting at the dinner table tonight, in all its usual activity and conversation. Out of the blue, after one of the kids made a cute comment or did something silly, Gabe said, "What would we do if we didn't have these kids?" in an endearing sort of way. My mom, who was also eating with us, followed up with something like, "What would this world be like without children?" This got Micah and Judah giggling...and then Micah said very seriously, "Then people wouldn't have someone to love." He said it so nonchalantly that I knew my mom and Gabe hadn't caught it like I had.

I asked him further what he meant by that statement. And then he took a few seconds to think (and stutter a little bit, bless his heart) before saying, "If you and Daddy didn't have kids, we would be in Africa."

Woah.

My heart flopped in my chest. He didn't say it in an emotional way, and he did not say it in a knowingly profound sort of way. But his simple, factual words hit me like a ton of bricks. And I knew the Lord had two things for me to realize:

1) There are two ways to think of "What would we do if we didn't have kids?"

One - From MY point of view (as the parent), my mind would undoubtedly begin to answer that question with the listing of all the NON-KID things that my life might be filled with right now. (Certainly not out of resentment, of course, and certainly not a speck of wishing that my children were not in my life no matter how much frustration and effort they contribute to my life. But still.) The simple fact is that when I think about what I would do if I didn't have kids...the answer is pretty clearly "I."

Two - From Micah, Judah & Julia's point of view, the answer to that question is undoubtedly that they would be in Africa. Maybe still living in their respective orphanages, or maybe much worse. Maybe not worse - Maybe another family much richer, nicer, cooler than us would have adopted them. But then that other family wouldn't have adopted the kids they now have...and where would those kids be? In the orphanage. Still. Or maybe much worse.

I hate to be dramatic and emotional about things like this, and I am certainly not attempting to pat myself, Gabe, or any other adoptive family on the back. That is not the point of sharing this reflection with you. The point is that life is not about me. It's about Jesus and His kingdom coming. It's about Him getting the most glory He can possibly get out of a fallible person like myself. It's about what Jesus said to do - And it's about the treasures He has entrusted me to care for and to care about.

My selfishness as a human is so rooted into my DNA. I am ashamed to say when thinking of what life would be like without children. I think of the absence of their smiles, their love (basically the stuff I get out of the deal)...And the stuff of life that I would have filling my days, time, resources, energy instead of having THEM fill my days, time, resources, energy. But my first thought would not be where THEY would be if they were not in my life.

2) Secondly, how many families out there are doing things "they would do without kids (or without ALL their kids)" and how many of their children are waiting for them to realize something (someone) is missing in their lives? I speak for our family here as well. This may be a news flash to some of you, but most of you know, Lord willing, we are not done adopting in our lifetimes. Where are our other children tonight? What are they doing? How many Micahs out there are sitting in a place they really do not belong, do not deserve to be, because a family somewhere else is doing what they'd be doing if they didn't have kids?

All this reminds me the words to a classic song I remember hearing as a little girl waching the movie "Annie," but only recently have I heard this song in a much more powerful way --

Maybe far away

Or maybe real nearby

He may be pouring her coffee

She may be straighting his tie!

Maybe in a house

All hidden by a hill

She's sitting playing piano,

He's sitting paying a bill!

Betcha they're young

Betcha they're smart

Bet they collect things

Like ashtrays, and art!

Betcha they're good --

(Why shouldn't they be?)

Their one mistake

Was giving up me!

So maybe now it's time,

And maybe when I wake

They'll be there calling me "Baby"...

Maybe.

Betcha he reads

Betcha she sews

Maybe she's made me

A closet of clothes!

Maybe they're strict

As striaght as a line...

Don't really care

As long as they're mine!

So maybe now this prayer's

The last one of it's kind...

Won't you please come get your "Baby"

5x7 Folded Card

2011-06-07T22:31:00.001-04:00

Classic Band Navy Father's Day 5x7 folded card

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After a well-needed hiatus...

2011-05-16T13:42:00.002-04:00

After many, many months of not even looking at our blog, I checked it out today and realized how long it's been since I've posted anything. A very non-descript announcement for Julia was the last thing I've put up on here!! Before Julia came home to us in December, I realized I was spending way too much time in blog world when I could be catching up on much-needed sleep, on laundry and dishes, be in the Word, or spending more time with the ones I love. In an effort to ditch things and prioritize, I decided to let our blog be dormant for a while. It's been a good thing. But lately, after the arrival of Julia and our mutual adjustment, and now after the arrival of little baby Caleb Gregory Kalmbacher (born 4/23/11), there is much inside me that wants to share again...to muse...to challenge myself and others...to document for memory's sake. So perhaps if any of you are still interested in hearing anything about the Kalmbachers, more will come. But if you've given up on me, I don't blame you. :) It might not be regular, but at least the hiatus has been broken for now...

I leave you with this beautiful poem that I found through a friend yesterday. I've read it a few times over, and each time I need a tissue for my tears. Praise the Lord that He knows all and is in the business of redemption! The blog by Mandie can be found here.

You might not know the story (the one about her birth)

but I have kept a record since the moment she touched earth.

I know the day she tried to walk. I counted every fall.

I know the number of her tears. My bottle holds them all.

I was there for the day when she turned one year old.

You don’t know where it happened and she might not have been told,

but those things are less important than the fact that I was there…

that I planned her birth with purpose is more important that the “where”.

I was there when she was waiting. I whispered to her when

her small heart first held the promise of the family I would send.

I planned all those details of her self that whisper she is yours

so that one day you could show her that I’d planned this since before.

Since before she heard your voice and before she knew your name

I was holding her and planning for her welfare just the same.

There was never once a moment when I didn’t rule it all

From the numbers in her birth date to events she can’t recall.

I’ve been planning this small life for the big one that shall be.

The missing pieces of her story make more room to trust in me.

The harvest that will come of the first few years of pain

Will be greater than your heart can know, or ever could contain.

JuliaAnnouncement

2010-12-31T23:42:00.001-05:00

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Eric Ludy - Depraved Indifference

2010-12-03T09:20:00.001-05:00

Hello Friends!

I see it's been exactly 3 months to the day since I last posted something on this blog. I feel it was a much needed break, as we've had a lot of things on our plate the past 3 months and I've been managing my time much better lately since I've given up blogging for a while and given up reading other people's blogs, etc. It's been a good thing...And yet we have a lot to share with you all! So look forward to some more details coming soon.

This morning I came across a movie clip that has rocked my world...knocked me off my feet...enough that I am compelled and eager to share it with you. A lot of adoption/missional movie clips I see are quite founded on emotion (which isn't necessarily a bad thing - God speaks powerfully through emotion)...But this one, I feel, is strongly emotional because it is so deeply rooted in the truth and power of God's Word and the heart that He wants us to share with him. Please, please watch this and then join with me in asking the Lord, "How are you trying to get my attention?"

How are you living your life?

2010-09-02T09:49:00.001-04:00

Keith Green 28I28I28

2010-07-28T12:07:00.001-04:00

Monroe Update

2010-07-28T11:13:00.002-04:00

I am told that Monroe has a family! Praise the Lord! So excited for him and for the family who is going to be incredibly blessed by the challenges and joys of adoption. Thanks for praying!!

Monroe needs a home!

2010-07-18T14:21:00.005-04:00

(I just found the below information on a friend's blog and feel incredibly compelled to make you all aware of this need. Please visit http://sisterhaiti.wordpress.com/2010/07/17/urgent/ and feel free to ask Salem any questions using her email address to the left of her blog. Incredible need...and incredibly barriers removed with a whopping $20,000 grant!!)

Urgent need for an adoptive family!

Monroe doesn’t have much time. He has a $20,000 grant which will pretty much cover his entire adoption!!!!

He has just six weeks to find his forever family before being sent a mental institution where he will spend the rest of his life tied in a crib.
Please look at his information and pray about whether you have room in your heart and home for this sweet boy.

“Once our eyes are opened, we can’t pretend we don’t know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act.”

BOY, Born February 4, 2005

SIGNIFICANT RISK, PLEASE ADOPT ME SOON!!

Monroe is a sunshine of a little boy! He is already 5 and blessed to still be at the baby house. He needs a family right away!

From a missionary who visited with him in June 2010: I met with the doctor in his Groupa House who brought me back to meet him. The Head Doctor wanted me to meet the children who needed equipment. While measuring him for a chair, she explained to me what was more important was that he get a family. He will be traferred in six months to the worst institution, restrained in a crib in a dark room. She broke into tears! Monroe has spastic cerebral palsy in all four limbs and is globally delayed. He is able to recognize the voices of his careworkers and understand simple directions. However, due to his spasticity he is unable to do much of anything. No speech. With therapy he can improve but will always have limitations. I measured his head circumfeence and once home will check with a doctor regtarding whether ir not he is microcephalic as well. I will try to gather more information on him today. His temperament was sweet and his eyes twinkled. He needs a family fast!

From an adoptive family who visited with him in June 2009: Monroe has CP. It appears that he is unable to use his arms and legs and is not sitting up on his own. He has the most beautiful smile and I don’t think there is much of a cognitive delay. He loves to be held and his whole face lights up when you come near him.”

*** Monroe has an incredible benefactor who has offered a FULL GRANT of $20,000 for his adoption. He is facing imminent institutionalization, and will regress quickly once he is transferred. Families who are qualified (www.reecesrainbow.org/newfamily.html) to adopt internationally and who are approved to adopt a significantly delayed child should contact Andrea for more information. This is a very fast program and it is very possible to have him home before the end of 2010! ***

Heard At Our House

2010-07-10T22:13:00.003-04:00

Keeping this short and sweet...The boys were up SO much last night and then had a hard time going to sleep this evening, so we're just trying to stay awake long enough on this lovely Saturday night to not feel totally uncool for going to bed at the same time our kids do. ;)

Two little sayings came out of our boys' mouths within the past few days and I want to make sure I record them before I forget. Corny, yes. But said by my boys so obviously I think it's terribly cute? Most definitely yes! Brace yourself for some groaners... :D

Micah: "Daddy, sing Twinkle Twinkle!"

Daddy: "Twinkle, twinkle, little star...how I wonder what you are..."

Micah, not missing a beat: "Twinkle, twinkle, find my car...how I wonder where you are"

.....

A few weeks ago Grandma Dareen taught the boys a song about a cabin in the woods, a little man who lived in he cabin, and a bunny who sought refuge in the cabin from a big bad hunter who tried to kill him...One of my childhood all-time favorites ;)

Tonight at supper time, following a conversation with Judah about cole slaw and the fact that it's actually cabbage and very good for us to eat, Judah burst into song right after taking a mouth full of cole slaw:

"In a CABBAGE in a wood...a little man by the window stood...saw a bunny hopping by...knocking at the door."

Love146: Taking Daddy Back

2010-07-06T23:15:00.000-04:00

Go here to read the whole post from Love146:

So many children have never known the love of a good father. Some have been hurt, abused, or abandoned by a father, while others continue to live with a father who is not really there.

Capitalizing on vulnerability, pimps and traffickers move right into that vacant place, even insisting at times, to be called “Daddy.” Luring girls with promises of “I’ll protect you.” “I’ll provide for you.”etc. And saying things that a real father was supposed to say but never did, like; “You’re special.” “You’re beautiful…”

While watching the documentary, I began to seethe inside. Through clenched teeth, I was saying under my breath; ”You are not a Daddy!” “You are a lot of things…but one thing you are definitely not…is a Daddy.” The idea that a pimp would claim and taint a word like “Daddy” honestly pisses me off. It is a word that I treasure because my children call me by that name. And when they do, it melts my heart, humbles me, and scares me with the responsibility that it carries.

Rocking my world right now...

2010-06-29T01:23:00.002-04:00

Please, PLEASE watch this. But know beforehand that you might need a bit of time to recover. Hopefully none us WILL fully recover from the realities and truth this journalist puts in front of our faces.

Those Unexpected Moments

2010-06-28T23:53:00.003-04:00

Disclaimer: This has more to do with my need for reflection and less to do with the fact that any of you might find this at all interesting. :) Warning...Mommy-unloading ahead.

Let me be the first to tell you that tonight was not one of my finest. In fact, I just might remember tonight for a very long time due to its truly insane, absolutely horrible, and VERY emotional qualities.

In brief, my 1pm-9pm regularly scheduled hours at my job started out pretty normal. Pretty normal admission at 1:30pm with a delightful family. Came back to the office to find there were 3, possibly 4, admission-related appointments coming up and it was 3:30pm which meant the day girls were leaving to go home and that left...me. Thankfully I work with exceptional team players which meant one nurse went to Grand Rapids for an admission which left me with the other two (confirmed) and one pending.

I made my way to my 4:30pm, but just prior to that I received a phone call from Gabriel saying Judah had awakened from his nap and was pretty feverish. There was also a diffuse rash (which we had noticed on-and-off for 2 days) and he wasn't acting "quite right." I called the doctor, whose nurse said to give Tylenol and put him in a lukewarm bath (not like I couldn't have thought of that myself...). He wasn't sneezing, wheezing, puking or coughing, just the fever, so we called the babysitter ahead of time who said she was fine with coming over still and Gabe proceeded to Grand Rapids for one of his two new night classes at Grand Valley. Heading out the door to what I knew would be a difficult admission, I made sure the babysitter knew to call me at any time if he got any worse or she didn't feel comfortable.

By 5:30pm, my awful evening was just starting to get awful. Everything happening with my new patient was pretty much horrible and required speedy assistance, medication, attention, etc. While on the phone calling social worker, on-call nurse, etc...Our sweet babysitter called me and said "Judah is getting really bad really fast, I think you might want to come home."

Uh... Switch from nurse taking care of patient I do not know to MOMMY NURSE who isn't with her son who is apparently really bad off. And of course, the inevitable few moments of panic and freaking out (Which I rarely EVER truly do). At this moment I hated being a working mom with professional life demanding every moment of my next hours and the prospect of my little guy needing me. Excused myself from the family, called in backup (again, from amazing coworkers), and called Gabe home who had just arrived at his class 10 minutes earlier.

I was almost making it home when someone from work called to let me know that possible admission from earlier (not counted in the original 3) was now needing me to visit. I felt like I was drowning at that very moment.

Making my way home, I ran inside to find Judah sprawled out on the couch, completely zonked, head-to-toe in a bright red rash (all kidding aside, I've never seen a little brown-skinned boy look so red). He was breathing a little funny, eyes almost swollen shut, and not responding like he should have with me coming into the room. He did NOT look good to me at all. Poor, wonderful babysitter was hovering over him trying to take his temp. She probably thought I was wild banshee-mama as I whisked in, picked up my little guy, grabbed a t-shirt for him, and ran out the door. Somewhere Micah was shouting gleefully that Mommy was home, but then turned to whining and shrieking as I ran out the door for Judah as he said, "I wannnnntt toooo goo with youuuuuuu." (Later Gabe told me that after nap, Micah was very quick to say, "I have a rash too! I've got a fever too! Daddy, I need medicine too! I want a bath! I want a pillow behind my head!" etc. A little comic relief for us at least.)

I originally thought I could get to Zeeland, but decided that since we have a hospital 2 blocks away there was no way I'd be going to Zeeland. As I barreled around the blocks from Washington & 21st St to Maple & 22nd St, the thoughts hit me. Like.A.Ton.Of.Bricks.

"What if we were in Africa right now?"

And then the more sobering, "What if he were in Africa ALONE right now?"

My emotions were starting to crack. Very unexpectedly, an urgent trip to the ER became a platform for grief like I haven't allowed myself to feel lately. The thought of my son.. MY SON.. Alone...or at an orphanage with less than adequate medical attention (thinking of what poor health Micah was in when I got him out of there)... Overwhelming.

And then my mind jumped to the bigger picture, of orphans WITHOUT ANYONE TO CARE THAT THEY'RE SICK, at least in the way a mommy cares that her baby is sick. That thought very quickly followed by a video clip Gabe and I watched a few weeks ago, tears pouring, as we heard Carolyn Twietmeyer talk about her and her husband's adoption of a girl from Ethiopia who had full-blown, stage 4 AIDS and was on the brink of death. She said something so profound, I wish I could quote it exactly. She said something to the effect that they knew this girl deserved a loving family even if she was going to die, if nothing else so that she wouldn't die alone. Unspeakable depth, emotion and realization hit me. What if Judah had AIDS? What if a fluke trip to the ER wasn't...so...fluke-ish and in fact really really serious? What if the culmination of all the work, tears and fighting over the past 1+ year to get him into our family would only result in him dying of some terminal illness? My mind rushed to the point: "WOULD IT BE WORTH IT?"

Oh my goodness...the answer is totally, absolutely YES.

Keep it together, Anna. Keep it together.

As soon as I got Judah to the ER registration, he started screaming and jerking uncontrollably, moaning something like "Mommy go outside with Judah." The nurse started asking me his name, which threw me for a loop because I started to say, through tears now streaming down my face, "Judah Kalmbacher" but had to pause for my mind to catch up and said, "Uh...it's Sharif Lewis." Then the inevitably reply to "how do you spell that?" which was followed by the inevitable correction of "Sherif" to "Sharif."

Once we got the name straightened out, she asked the birthdate. I had to pause, as I first remembered his real birthday but had to correct my memory to remember the incorrect birthday which is on all his legal paperwork which makes him a whole year younger than he really is. So I told her his birthday (with hesitancy) was xx/xx/08 followed by the inevitable, "But he's really 2 and 1/2." At this point I looked really, REALLY dumb. Especially because I still had my "Anna, RN, BSN" badge on my shirt from work. Enough said.

She then asked me, "Oh, so you're in the process of adopting him?" It was amazing how my immediate response in my head was, "Oh definitely not - he's already ours." The possessiveness was all there, baby. No process involved. It's already finalized in my mind. But on paper, it still isn't legal yet. So I said, "Yeah...well...uh....he's been my son for almost a year but he's still not technically adopted yet." It kind of stung to hear myself say that. Then I thought, "Shoot - she's going to ask me for proof of guardianship and I have no clue where those papers are." Instead she asked me for his social security number, and I had to explain why he didn't have one...He has a green card number...But I don't exactly carry that around in my purse with me.

She finally let me go with him to get his vital signs, accompanied by more uncontrolled screaming, worsening of his swollen eyes, incomprehensible begging for me to take him outside, and refusal to look at the nice Bob the Builder sticker he was clutching in his little fist. We made it back to a patient room, and he snuggled into my lap as I tried to get him interested in some cartoons on the TV. In those moments of silence as I stroked his back and hummed "Jesus Loves Me" to him, my mind went back to the earlier epiphany I had in the car on the way there.

"How many mothers would give all they had to get their kid where I am with Judah right now?"

"And what if their expense for getting their child to a place like this was a $50 copay...A small fraction of what I make IN ONE DAY?"

At this point, if any of you are still reading, you're probably thinking I'm insane. You're probably thinking I have some sort of unhealthy guilt in my life...and that maybe I should just chill and enjoy the blessings God has given me. After all, focusing on God's blessings instead of others' lackings is a whole lot more comfortable. But I believe it is so, so wrong.

Frankly, I am so thankful that with the Lord's help on days like today I have been able to resist at least some of the thoughts of entitlement, of privilege, of health-and-wealth that so easily sweeps us up and destroys. I am thankful every day for the awareness, for the gut-wrenching humanity, and for a conscience coupled with the truths in Christ's Word which well never ever allow me to live a truly comfortable life. I never would have thought today would bring forth such insanity and yet such melancholy epiphany. I don't think I'll ever forget my first trip to ER as a mommy. Not a chance.

But back to the story. Gabe showed up minutes later, and the doctor came in to tell us that he didn't think whatever Judah has is bacterial but more likely viral or allergic in nature. He checked the little guy over, and asked me basic medical history questions to which I had to fumble through more awkward responses related to having little to no medical history at all for Judah (er, Sharif?). The doctor made an expected comment on how big Judah looked for 1.5 years old, to which I had to explain the whole "his legal birthday isn't a good estimate of his age" and the doctor had to make some mental calculations regarding months and years I was rattling off. At this point, my cell was still ringing from the on-call nurse from work, the social worker, and even my boss (everyone was very sweet and understanding, of course). But the reality was that patients still needed to be cared for, and with my husband now here for backup I had to go make some much needed phone calls.

Judah ended up getting a chest x-ray (Gabe said he did really well), and he was sent home with orders for Tylenol, Benadryl, and close monitoring for a few days. Gabe and I took him home, plopped him down on the couch where he looked either dead or like a sleeping angel depending on one's frame of mind (I couldn't tell which one he looked more like). I slipped back to the office, where I stayed until 11:00pm with still more work to be done in the morning.

And now I am up at 1:00am still typing all this out. \Today was a HARD day, professionally and maternally. Emotionally and physically. Yet through being squeezed really tight at quite a few points tonight, I think the Lord used this opportunity to reveal once again His infinite love for Judah, for all the little boys and girl with and without families...and for me. Loving a God like this makes me want to give all - To worship - To fall down on my face in humility. How can I not give all that I have - All my selfish goals, plans and ambitions - and instead choose to live life as usual? Now that I am on the brink of another big soapbox, I think I need to go check on my little buckaroo, give him more medicine, and go to bed. :)

Thank you Lord Jesus.

Penny's Trip

2010-06-14T22:51:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, one of our cats simply had to leave. It is really, really a problem when one cat makes you more exasperated than two toddler boys on a given day. "Penny" was one of the two kittens we took in from the pound last winter after we got home from Uganda, and while we've tried for months and MONTHS to make it work out... Momma had enough.

She had a really sweet disposition, but I will spare you the undesirable details. Let's just say I usually felt I was doing more laundry as result of the cat than I was doing as result of the kids' "accidents." Ugh.

Anyway. Despite Gabe's insistence that we find her a new home a long time ago, I kept problem solving, rationalizing, and reading about how we could made the bad stuff stop. We took her to the vet. We tried different things in the house. I even called the animal shelter to figure out what to do with her.

Two weeks ago, Penny back to the pound. We didn't know what to tell the boys, since day one in Uganda they've always known "Puuuurl A PENNNNy" as our kitties and we didn't know if they'd be upset or not. They watched as Gabe put her in her cat carrier, said goodbye, and drove her away. Days went by and nothing was mentioned about Penny's absence. We started to wonder if the boys even cared at all, since they never interact terribly much with the cats.

Last week, I took the boys to a new playground and as I pulled them in their red wagon Judah suddenly shouted out, "There's a kitty! It's Penny!!" On someone's porch sat a cat that didn't REALLY look like Penny but I played along and said, "Oh really? Is that where she went? What a silly kitty."

But Micah was insistent and set Judah and me straight: "No, Mommy - Daddy took her to church. Penny went to church." I almost cracked up.

Today at the breakfast table, we were all sitting together and I observed Pearl playing around in the living room. Judah said, "Puuuurl is funny." And, sure enough, Micah chimed in, "And Penny is at church."

The things these kids think up... :)

Oh - Just as a side note. This afternoon Micah saw a VeggieTale "kid" on the infamous "Jonah" movie who was crying and whining. Without missing a beat, Micah said with a big sigh, "He needs a grandma." I thought I heard him say that, but I had to ask again. He repeated, "That boy is crying and he sure does need his grandma." Precious!

Rehearsing God’s Story for God’s Glory and the Good of Orphans

2010-06-13T21:20:00.002-04:00

Thought of the evening...

If we are not renewed each day by what Jesus has done on our behalf and for our sakes...

We won’t be very committed to caring for orphans - At least over the long haul and for the right reasons.

Article on Hunger

2010-06-07T22:01:00.003-04:00

Another quick post tonight highlighting an article from the same blog I just posted on:

"There are 1.02 billion undernourished people in the world today. That means one in nearly six people do not get enough food to be healthy and lead an active life. Hunger and malnutrition are in fact the number one risk to the health worldwide — greater than AIDS, malaria and tuberculosis combined.

Some 60 percent of the world’s chronically hungry people are women and girls. This is because women often have unequal access to resources, education and income, and because they participate less in decision-making.

And when hunger and under nutrition-affect women, they also affect their children. More than 19 million children are born annually with low birth weight, often the result of their mothers receiving inadequate nutrition before and during pregnancy."

Child Marriage

2010-06-07T21:38:00.002-04:00

Not trying to be a downer, guys, but I feel compelled to share this link. I believe very strongly that we need to be aware...For the purposes of prayer, physical action, and advocacy.

"Dhank-You for Jonah..."

2010-06-04T23:49:00.003-04:00

"Jonah" is a hot topic around our house. He gets as many prayers said for him as do Mommy & Daddy...

Our son Judah is slightly obsessed.

One of my favorite things to do at mealtime is to wait until Judah wants to take his turn to pray. Usually we will all hold hands, Gabe or I will say the prayer, and then Micah says he wants to pray. Micah says, "Shee-shush. Shee-shush. Amen." (His version of Jesus, Jesus, Amen.) Then JUST as we all return to our plates of food, Judah chimes in, "Do-dah pray."

We hold hands...Again...And Gabe and I can't help but peek at him as he dutifully scrunches up his eyes, clasps his hands together up close to his face, and scruches up his nose. Sometimes he wrinkles up his face to the point where a little knot between his eyebrows pops up and we know he's REALLY intent.

He says, very matter-of-factly in a high-pitched whisper, "Dank-you for food. Dank-you for peanut butter. Dank-you for toys. Dank-you for Mommy. Dank-you for Daddy. Dank-you for Jonah." And the list goes on.

Each time, the topics are different. One of the things we love is that he mentions the topics randomly depending on the events just prior to a given mealtime, instead of a pre-memorized prayer. Sometimes it's thankfulness for oranges, or balls, or frisbees, or juice.

Except for the Jonah factor. Jonah ALWAYS get a prayer. :)

LOVE FOR ORPHANS TRANSFORMS

2010-06-02T09:05:00.000-04:00

"Unwanted infants in ancient Rome were often disposed of via the practice of “exposing.” Whether undesirable because it was malformed, female or simply inconvenient, the child would be left alone, outside the city walls, without defense before glaring sun, icy winds or roving animals.

In 374 AD, the Christian emperor Valentinian banned the practice. But for centuries prior, a marginalized group gained a reputation for rescuing these children: Christians. The early church was known, even among many who despised it, as a people who defended the orphan. Believers went outside the city to find infants abandoned there, taking them in, and often raising them as their own. This witness was one powerful factor in the vibrant life and growth of Christianity in its first 300 years, and at other high points in history as well. It can be that way again."

Ultimate Frisbee, Toddler Style

2010-06-01T22:26:00.003-04:00

Today we played frisbee...With the very same frisbee we brought to Uganda with us back in August when we first went to be with the boys. See cute little Micah below, circa September 2009:

Anyway - The frisbee was a really hot object today, since it's been missing since November when Gabe & the boys came home (I found it in one of our suitcases yesterday...Fun!).

Micah actually has a pretty great arm on him - He and Gabe can throw the frisbee back and forth a few times with each other catching it. (In other words, Micah is better at frisbee than I am :))

At one point, I was encouraging Micah & Judah to practice throwing it to each other. Or at least throwing it somewhere and the other one running to catch it, even if it meant way out in the yard somewhere. Micah was throwing it in practically a straight line, doing very well. Judah would run with glee and catch it.

Then, things got really funny. After procuring the frisbee, Judah crouched down combat-style and made his way over very closely to Micah. Then, he threw the frisbee. I am pretty sure his desire for close proximity to Micah had something to do with the fact that Judah knows his throwing isn't very strong in distance or direction. :)

After the first time when Micah was nearly decapitated, I coached Judah how to throw the frisbee away from Micah instead of AT Micah.

Despite my encouragement and coaxing, this is what happened:

(Micah throwing frisbee far out in the yard for Judah to catch)

Judah: Giggles, smiles, "YAYYY!" and very proud prancing around with the frisbee

(Then, Judah aiming his arm with the frisbee in Micah's general viscinity)

Micah: "AHH! Get away from ME!" and covering his eyes and turning away so not to be hit head-on.

I cannot do the occasion justice by typing about it, but it was terribly cute. Judah is such a good sport in situations like this. He just looked at Micah and said, "Micah, catch it! I throw it to you!" with a big grin on his face...Completely oblivious to the fear of bodily harm on Micah's end of things. After a few moments of the situation getting a little crazy, I started a new game of Mommy throwing the frisbee to Micah, Micah throwing it back to Mommy, and then repeating the same thing with Judah.

Generally, a fun time was had by all. :)

Bump Envy...

2010-06-01T22:21:00.002-04:00

Heard at our house today:

Micah at dinner time: I have a BUMP!! (Patting top of head on said bump) I have a BUMP!!

Mommy: Yes, you do! And it's a very nice bump.

Judah: DOO-Dah have a BUMP! (Patting the top of his head...where there is no bump.)

Micah: Doo-dah, you don' have a bump.

Judah: I HAVE A BUMP!! (with more patting)

Micah: No!! I have a bump! You don'!

Judah, whining: I want a bump....

(Mommy trying not to laugh :))

If You're In West Michigan and Love Orphans, You Should Be There!

2010-05-30T20:11:00.000-04:00

“The impossible can always be broken down into possibilities”
- Unknown

Positively Connected

(Understanding the joys and challenges of raising a child who is HIV+)

Bethany Christian Services (www.bethany.org) has partnered with the Grand Rapids Red Project (http://redproject.org/) to provide support and education to local adoptive families.

Together we will be hosting an evening of information sharing and resource connection for families who have adopted or are considering adopting a child with HIV. We will also hear testimonials from families who are living with and affected by HIV.

We invite anyone interested to join us for dessert and informal discussion on the evening of June 2, 2010. Children are welcome to attend. Families will be given resources to take home. The event will begin at 6:30 p.m. in the Conference Center at our headquarters in Grand Rapids (901 Eastern Ave. NE, Grand Rapids, MI 49501).

Please contact Stephanie at sryder@bethany.org for more information or to RSVP. We would love to have you join us!

Too Many Children in our World Suffer Appalling Abuse

2010-05-30T20:08:00.000-04:00

From Tom Davis' blog dated May 28:

"Today, the UN outlawed abuses inflicted on children including prostitution, pornography, and the sale of children. I don't know why this took so long, but good for them. It's good to see world leadership stepping up and doing their part to protect kids from abusers.

What if the church stepped up to do something radical? What if the church said, "If there are any children in the world in danger of being exploited sexually or trafficked, we will take them in. We'll find families. No questions asked."

That's the kind of Acts 2 love and sacrifice that would change the world."

Radical

2010-05-29T21:37:00.002-04:00

I've been making my way through David Platt's newly-released book "Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream." Heavy, meaty stuff. View this plug, then order the book and read it for yourself.

About Radical from David Platt on Vimeo.

Question of the hour.

2010-05-28T22:53:00.002-04:00

This is reverberating through my mind...For days and longer...But especially now:

Is it best/right/okay to bypass the chance to do "good" in the present if you think that thing may "get in the way" of a bigger, very good plan you've been holding out for in the future?

OR is it always best to live by the rule to not pass up the chance "to do good" in the present...Even if it may mean future plans might not work out the way you always planned it to be.

Maybe I'm thinking too much. If any of you can track what I just said, I'd love to hear your comments. :D

Friday Evening Fun in Holland

2010-05-24T16:18:00.004-04:00

On Friday evening, we took the boys for a stroller ride downtown. The weather was awesome! We think the fountains near Macatawa Bank (I think?) reminded M&J of the cool fountains in West Palm Beach we saw in February...At one point Micah even asked where Aunt Anita was!
The photo below was taken shortly after Micah whipped off his sandal and threw it in the pool, which Gabe then fished out and put back on his foot. :)I love how the shutter speed for this photo shows the "slice" of water Micah swiped with his hand...Suddenly, a McDonalds hot air balloon appeared out of nowhere. The boys LOVED it and were very disappointed when it went out of sight.Onward to Hope College! (The boys decided to run instead of being pushed in the stroller.)
More running...
But wait! It's a big hole!! Do you think this is the hole that Winnie the Pooh fell into? (Much toddler discussion between M & J about whether or not this was indeed the same hole.)

I LOVE the elements of surprise (on the squirrel's part, as if he's ready to pounce) and confusion (on Micah's part, who has misplaced the squirrel's location) here.
Judah with his fists full of sticks, squealing "AM running fawwwwsssstttt!!"Yet more squirrel chasing...
Finally we made our way to the Anchor. At this point, I realized that completely coincidentally the boys were both wearing their orange Hope College sweatshirts while at Hope College. :)

I wish you could have heard the chants of "GOOOO HOPE!" and "Go HOPE Cowwwegge!"

Pure Michigan: M & J's Lake Michigan Debut!

2010-05-24T15:28:00.003-04:00

Thursday was the boys' first day at Lake Michigan!! If we were really cool and remembered important dates, we would have said this was in celebration of the boys' 6 month anniversary of coming to the USA! (Reality is, I just remembered TODAY that the 6 month mark was a week ago. Oops!)

Stay tuned for super cheesy and fun photos of the boys hanging out in the Pine Grove at Hope College last Friday evening. :D

Busy, busy boys...Hard at work in the midst of tranquility and beauty around them. :)

Micah :)
Judah and his shovel :)
Is it just me, or doesn't the above picture make you feel like you're IN one of the "Pure Michigan" radio ads?

Eating lunch!
Micah decided to take an impromptu nap...? Judah continued to converse over lunch.
Digging a big hole with Daddy, sandwiches in hand.
This was the unfortunate fate of one of the aforementioned sandwiches when either it "happened" to fall in the sand or someone "happened" to be done with it. I guess we will never exactly know the truth, but what a sad sight it was. ;)
YAY for summer!!

Christian Alliance for Orphans: 700 Club Clip

2010-05-20T15:11:00.002-04:00

Today was an exceptionally great day in the Kalmbacher home. The boys had their first experience at Lake Michigan and it was LOVELY. :) I have today off from work, and Gabe has classes tonight, so we took off to Tunnel Park. Gabe did his homework, I read Radical by David Platt, and together we peeked over the edges of our pages to catch glimpses of our sons running up and down the shoreline, splashing, and dumping sand in their hair. (Okay, maybe the truth is I spent 20% of my time reading my book and 80% of my time gawking and drinking in the sight of the boys being so incredibly happy. :)) We had a nice little post-beach stop at Captain Sundae for hot fudge ice cream too. Talk about a rite of passage!!

Anyway - I wanted to post this interesting link to a recent clip on the 700 Club. If you go here to the Christian Alliance for Orphans blog you can read a commentary as well as actually view the video clip. Gabe and I barely made it through Pat Robertson's comments at the end of the clip - Incredible. I think the Christian Alliance Blog commentary's points say exactly what was running through our minds. SO thankful for gracious, beautiful, truthful testimonies from all the families featured - With obedience to the Lord and what He requires comes profound JOY.

Waiting No More

2010-05-19T15:47:00.002-04:00

Faithful Ones...I just wanted to post a quick note to let you know that our little Blessed Joy is waiting no more. We were checking out the waiting children list the other night and COULDN'T FIND HER THERE. What an exciting and unnerving thing! Exciting because maybe...just maybe...This meant someone had chosen her. Unnerving because, of course, we want to make sure someone AWESOME is choosing her. :) :)

We wrote to our delightful case worker :) and she confirmed that Blessed Joy has been chosen by a family from another agency. Prayers go up to the Lord in thankfulness that this precious little one has someone pursuing her, and hope that her new family raises her up physically, emotionally, and spiritually into the woman God created her to be.

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." Psalm 68:5

If I Had One Wish.

2010-05-09T23:49:00.002-04:00

Today is my "first" Mother's Day as a Mommy. Last year was really my first year as a mommy, as I waited so much for my boys half a world away...But this year I have the loud, busy household containing ever-present slobbery, cute kisses to prove my motherhood. Last year I was a blubbering mess on Mother's Day as I tried to reconcile what I KNEW in my heart to be true (that the boys would eventually join our family) with the fact that each day that passed was another day I could not stand to have my sons in that orphanage. Today, I am at peace and am overflowing with thankfulness to the Lord for truly DOING what He PROMISED! A year ago, my children were in the Lord's hands but not in mine...This year, they are STILL in the Lord's hands AND they are in mine.

This evening I thought about posting a brief update on what happened today...About some of the very sweet ways the boys, Gabe, and others made me feel even more loved than I do any other day. While my day DID include flowers, cards, and lots of kisses and a dinner out to eat with friends...My heart holds so much more than this. The boys are tucked in their beds, my husband just kissed me goodnight as he walked upstairs, and I still have charting from a busy day of Hospice admissions to finish...

But around this time of the night, especially on a day like Mother's Day, my mind and my heart pause as I allow myself to be drawn to another place. A place where I dab a few tears from my eyes...A place where my imagination runs wild...A place where my insides want to scream out with everything I have, "They are okay!! And I love them!! And I love YOU!" A place where my heart aches for heaven more than any other moment.

It's a place where I think of them.

They are the ones who birthed my sons. They are the ones who nursed them, changed them, rocked them to sleep. They are the ones who feared for my sons' lives - Even feared enough to do the unthinkable. They loved enough to say goodbye. Perhaps they are the ones who died without knowing what would become of their precious little ones.

Maybe she was the victim of society's cruelty. Of an abusive partner. A victim of war. Maybe when she died, my son's face was the last one she saw as she whispered a prayer for him to live...As she herself passed from this earth to the next. Maybe she didn't die - But she just had hope. Hope that forever separation FROM him would be better than forever pain FOR him given what she could or could not offer. Hope that there were better odds of him falling into the arms of some do-gooder than the known outcome of her holding him to her chest and weeping as he became more close to death's door.

Or maybe I'm not only thinking of my sons' life-givers tonight, but of the women or men who brought them to safety. The aunt who, after burying her sister, scooped up the crying baby and put him somewhere where he could be found. The dad who just couldn't provide. The neighbor who had no resources of her own but did have enough money for a bus ride for him to get into town...

You see, it only takes a few moments of reflection like this before my position as a mommy becomes incredibly humble. Humble to the point where I know I am no one spectacular, extraordinary, or worthy of a special day of adoration and recognition. I am filled with a tremendous sense of responsibility to raise these boys well, and with thankfulness that God has entrusted their care to me. I am the one these women prayed for. I am the tool God is using to help redeem little lives in response to some awfully painful prayers & wishes.

If I had one wish to use on this Mother's Day...(Other than, of course, wishing for my sons to grow in the Lord and love Him fully)...I wish I could tell them. I wish I could set their anxious thoughts at ease, provide some answers to their questions, and give them even a glimpse of the boys their babies have become. To share the motherly pride and joy with them as Judah jumps so high or speaks more and more sentences...or when Micah learns how to say "I'm Three" or wants nothing more than to snuggle in my arms when he wakes up from his nap.

I wish she knew she was my hero today.

Everything Is as It Was Meant To Be.

2010-05-05T08:08:00.003-04:00

From John Eldredge's Ransomed Heart Daily Reading today. I was encouraged; Hope you are, too!

In heaven, things are not stained or broken; everything is as it was meant to be. Think for a moment of the wonder of this. Isn't every one of our sorrows on earth the result of things not being as they were meant to be? And so when the kingdom of God comes to earth, wonderful things begin to unfold. Look at the evidence; watch what happens to people as they are touched by the kingdom of God through Jesus. As he went about preaching the good news of the kingdom, Jesus was also healing every disease and sickness among the people (Matt. 4:23). When he ?spoke to them about the kingdom of God, he healed those who needed healing (Luke 9:11).

What happens when we find ourselves in the kingdom of God? The disabled jump to their feet and start doing a jig. The deaf go out and buy themselves stereo equipment. The blind are headed to the movies. The dead are not at all dead anymore, but very much alive. They show up for dinner. In other words, human brokenness in all its forms is healed. The kingdom of God brings restoration. Life is restored to what it was meant to be. In the beginning, back in Eden, all of creation was pronounced good because all of creation was exactly as God meant for it to be. For it to be good again is not for it to be destroyed, but healed, renewed, brought back to its goodness.

Those glimpses we see in the miracles of Jesus were the first-fruits. When he announces the full coming of the kingdom, Jesus says, "Look, I am making all things new!" (Rev. 21:5 NLT, emphasis added). He does not say, "I am making all new things." He means that the things that have been so badly broken will be restored and then some. "You mean I'll get a new pair of glasses?" my son Sam asked. "Or of eyes, so I won't need glasses?" What do you think? Jesus didn't hand out crutches to help the disabled.

The accomplishment of going "outside" vs. "inside"

2010-05-04T22:23:00.000-04:00

Gabe, upon finding Micah standing by the back door in a puddle on the sidewalk:
"Micah, what happened?"

Micah:
"I go sou-sou outside!"

Gabe:
"I see. Did you take your pants off?"

Micah:
"No Daddy!" With a great big, proud grin on his face.

What a talented little guy, hmm? :)

Discouraged...And Yet Highly Motivated.

2010-05-01T23:04:00.006-04:00

There has GOT to be one family we know...Or certainly at least someone who reads this blog...Who is wanting to be profoundly blessed by giving our little Filipino "daughter" a home.

Tonight I am so saddened that out of quite a few families we have intentionally, earnestly approached about adopting her over the past month...Families very well equipped to say YES to her...And yet "no" or some variation of no has been the response.

Besides the sadness in us that this girl continues to wait...and wait...and wait, my heart is sad and frustrated that someone out there is missing out on a huge blessing by being used of the Lord to extend grace and mercy to this little one. She is one of the many poor, needy & vulnerable ones the Word continually commands us to care for. She needs a family badly - She is at high risk emotionally, physically, spiritually without one.

Gabe & I listened to an awesome word from David Platt from Brook Hills on the way to the U.P. this weekend - One line in particular keeps running through my head. "When Christians fail to show mercy, it begs the question whether or not they have ever received mercy themselves."

What is it going to take for the body of Christ to start doing what He says in the area of care for the widow & orphan? If this little girl was on your doorstep, was on your street corner...Would she also be turned away? What is it going to take? Why are there not more people, more Christians also outraged about her existence in a public institution - A place where it is easy to be forgotten? Time is of essence! Every night she sleeps without a mom or dad to comfort her fears in the middle of the night...Every morning she does not wake up to her mom singing to her or her dad reading her Winnie The Pooh is a tragedy.

So tonight,I am discouraged, I am broken for her...yet still highly motivated to continue to search, continue advocating until someone (hopefully one of you!) finds her and says "yes." Tonight as I crash on my pillow and drift off to sleep, she will continue to be on my mind as she's been on my mind all day...And I am praying that she cannot get off your mind either.

A Story From The Field: Hospice Jinja

2010-04-29T19:51:00.003-04:00

Today I received an email from our friends at Hospice Jinja who work tirelessly & sacrifically every day, alleviating suffering and bringing Jesus to so many people in need. As a Hospice nurse here in the States, I have a hard time comparing even the saddest of patient circumstances here in the States with the patients I used to work with in Uganda (just like the man's story below). The disparities, the injustice...My mind simply cannot wrap around the mentality in the United States fighting for "rights" to healthcare here when the overwhelming majority of the world's population cannot imagine such luxury of a fraction of what access we have. My "poorest" patients here in the States are kings and queens compared to the dear ones Hospice Jinja ministers to every day...I am not exaggerating. Stories like the one below are hard - My conscience is continually challenged when I complain of "hard" day at my job here in the States. I have NOTHING to complain about.

From Shem (Clinical Director of Hospice Jinja):

"Here is a story of a a young man of 32years, a total orphan, that I met yesterday in Mulago Hospital Cancer Institute- Childrens Ward. As you are aware I am attending a (training) in Pediatric Palliative Care at Mildmay.

The young Man stated:
He is now married for the last 12 years with his wife and this baby boy now 9 years is their first born.
They come from Bukungu Landing/fishing site in the far end of Kamuli District in the Busoga region (64 Miles), where Hospice Jinja would have had a presence but because of all the reasons you are all aware of (limited transportation and funding), it doesn't.

The young boy developed a swelling in the abdomen, that has now taken two years.
They first started with the local Health Units in our villages there, were reffered to Kamuli Hospital, then visited Local Private clinics in the same town until one friend of his told him that this disease would be better managed by the native/traditional healers. To this advice, he continued. Note that during all these processes, the man was spending unknown sums of money. He reached a moment when he got stuck and all he had to do was to sell off his only plot of land that he had. (A proverb in Lusoga that says, "kyolina nhe kikununhula," literally meaning that what you have is what saves you out of any period of imminent need). He sold his plot to try to save his son!! He was left with nothing and the child was only becoming worse, until another person again advised him to try Mulago Hospital.

He gathered some resources from his mother-in-law and his neighbors. He brought the child to Mulago. By this time the child had already suffered metasteses of the cancer with spinal cord compression with complications ranging from paraplegia to loss of bowel and urine control. The boy has advanced stage 4 Burkitts Lymphoma.
Here in Mulago, he was told after a number of investigations that his child had a cancer, with minimal chances of survival. The day we met this young man, he was in tears as he told us his story. We asked if in his village any one had any info regarding what the child could have been suffering from. He said there was none. IF THERE HAD BEEN, THEN THEY WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM WHAT TO DO EARLY ENOUGH.

I introduced him to the palliative and hospice care servies. When we told him of the Hospice sevices in Jinja, he asked where have we been! This made me feel so tearful and felt helpless. He wishes he knew and had info like this before, maybe he could have saved at least his only piece of land. He is not even sure where he will be going next, no home, no land, a dying child, poverty.........the list is endless.

Let us remember him in prayer and see how we can help his son get the hospice care services.

God bless you all.
Shem"

Gotta Check This Out!

2010-04-28T22:28:00.002-04:00

A Chronicle Of Redemption - Part 3: Failed Kings in a United Kingdom audio: CHRONICLE-PART3-3_AUD

Special Memories

2010-04-27T22:32:00.003-04:00

Quick blog post before I head to bed... I thought I'd share a few stories involving the boys over the past few days.

Yesterday, Gabe & I took the boys to Meijer to do some quick grocery shopping. Judah in Gabe's cart, Micah in my cart. We were rounding the corner by the yogurt fridge and I noticed a little boy about 6-7 years old who apparently sped ahead of his mother with their cart and was emphatically pointing at a container of Trix yogurt. He was excitedly and loudly saying, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" up the aisle where his mother was browsing some other items... Micah was walking next to me and holding my hand as we pushed my cart along, and I noticed right away that as soon as he saw the boy, Micah's posture straightened, his face got a little tense, and I sensed he was processing what this other kid was doing. It was probably a matter of seconds, but it seemed like the kid kept begging/yelling "Mommy" quite a bit. As we kept walking down the aisle (toward the kid's mom) Micah suddenly blurted out in a voice barely louder than his normal talking voice, "No...Noo...Not your mommy. This is MY mommy...No, this not your mommy." He gripped my hand a little tighter, and waved his other little hand at the boy as if to say, "Go away! Back off from my mom." It was THE most precious thing. Gabe and I really tried to stifle our laughs. Absolutely precious.

Also yesterday, my birthday, the boys were very excited about my cake. I think they talked about cake all weekend in preparation for my birthday, in fact. The kids. LOVE. Cake. When it was finally time to blow out candles and eat the cake, the boys wanted to sit in my lap and help me blow the candles. Gabe captured photos, so I'll have to post some of them. It was so fun to have them both on my lap, "helping" by blowing out all my candles and then shouting "AGAIN! AGAIN!" It made me think, "Who says you should only blow out candles once a year? Why not more?" So we proceeded to re-light the candles, re-sing the birthday song, and re-blow the candles out about three times. We got a lot of mileage out of those birthday candles. The boys were absolutely hyperactive the rest of the evening, prompting the need to haul everyone downstairs in the playroom right before bed and run laps around the room until they were tired enough to go back to bed.

Today was a rough day. Yesterday, the boys were cute and sweet and so much fun. Today the boys put both of us through the proverbial wringer. It was awful. Whining, crying, hitting each other, Micah spitting in Judah's eye, Judah body-checking Micah off one of the new tricycles, whining some more. (Let's just say that it's a full moon tonight. And all RNs know what happens when it's a full moon.) Well. I left for work at 12:45pm, and hoped Gabe could keep the troops in line without losing his mind until our fabulous babysitter Danielle could come at 4:45pm so Gabe could go to class. I called Gabe at 3:30pm, and by the weightiness in his voice I could tell the situation was getting worse, not better. Sure enough - He said he sent the boys down to the playroom to play nicely together (which, to their credit, they usually do quite well). After a little bit he went to check on them due to the profound sense of quietness which seemed a little too unbelievable. Poor Gabe. What he found were two little boys sitting at their little kid-sized table in their kid-sized chairs...COVERED in candy sprinkles, contentedly eating out of a whole container of sprinkles with their hands. But not just that - There were TONS of sprinkles ALL over the carpet, in a trail over to their toys, on the couch, EVERYWHERE. If Gabe cried at that point, I wouldn't have blamed him. He wiped them down, shook the sprinkles out of their hair and sent them to their beds and then conducted a very serious conversation with them about not getting into the cupboards and spreading sprinkles everywhere and eating them. He said they went right to sleep...and after Judah woke up 2 hours later, the very first unprovoked words out of his mouth to Gabe were, "Sprinkles only go on cake. Not on floor. Not on Micah. Not on Judah." What a conscience he has...He probably DREAMT about sprinkles. Now if only his actions could start to be motivated and directed by this conscience of his... :)

Just another day in the life!!

Cookies

2010-04-08T17:12:00.005-04:00

Gabe, pointing to the above picture on our refrigerator this afternoon:
"Micah, this a picture from the very first day I ever met you. I came home and brought you cookies for you to eat...But you didn't want any of them."

Micah's response:
"Cookies! Cookies! Daddy I need a cookie!!!"

Oh, how times have changed!

(See the boys' first encounter with pop tarts. Note the difference in approach. I don't think Judah's ever refused food a day in his life. ;))

Sex Trafficking In Moldova

2010-04-07T21:30:00.000-04:00

"Moldova has the highest rate of sex-trafficked women in the world - over 20%. Did you hear that? How would you feel if 20% of the girls and orphans in your neighborhood simply disappeared forever and were forced to have sex with 20 men a day? What does God have to say about this?"

THE DANGER OF CARING FOR ORPHANS

2010-04-07T21:20:00.002-04:00

"Can you think of moments when your heart has been stabbed by the plight of an orphan? A short-term mission trip? A story on CNN? Something written by Tom Davis? I’d say “yes” to all three.

In such moments, I experience deep ache, sorrow…as well as gratitude that God has finally pierced my often-calloused heart enough to get me to feel at least a small bit of what so many children live with every day.

But there’s a danger in such moments.

As C.S. Lewis observes in The Screwtape Letters, "The more often [one] feels without acting, the less he will ever be able to act, and, in the long run, the less he will be able to feel." The truth is, to feel without acting may be worse than never feeling at all.

That’s not to say that every tear we shed for human sorrow needs to be followed by some grand new undertaking. That’d likely lead to many foolhardy deeds, and, ultimately, to exhaustion. But it does mean that when our hearts are stirred, we need to be particularly open to God’s invitations to act upon conviction."

Family: The need is great, the call is clear!

2010-04-07T20:56:00.000-04:00

"...American churches play a powerful role in carrying out this vision. Domestically, the alliance is seeking to equip American churches for all forms of orphan care, including local foster care, adoption ministry and global orphan care partnerships. As a result, American churches will then have the resources and expertise to come alongside indigenous churches and teach them how to care for orphans in their own communities..."

More here.

Parabola (or "PrrrAAhrrr-berra")

2010-03-31T22:21:00.000-04:00

Since January, Gabe has been working on his masters degree in accounting/finance. Therefore, M&J recognize the word "homework" as either the big book on Gabe's lap in the living room or what he does in the office while the boys and I play in the mornings. Yesterday morning, Gabe & I were talking in the office while the boys ran in and out. They're pretty used to being told not to touch the computer and most things electronic, but when Micah came running into the office and gravitated toward Gabe's TI-83Plus graphing calculator for apparently the first time ever, Gabe told him he could hold it and push the buttons. Within seconds, this is what happened to Micah. Don't you love the little crossed legs as he props himself up against the door? He kept saying, "Micah WORKING! Micah WORKING!" While I laughed, Gabe observed and pointed out that Micah was methodically pushing every single button in a line, from top left - down, over to top right - down. Typical articulate son of ours!

We only have one calculator (my TI-83plus is in Indonesia with Gabe's little brother) so I started to get concerned that there might be some hard feelings on Judah's part since he loves to do everything Micah does. Sure enough, Judah started whining. Either Gabe or I grabbed a stats book off the bookshelf and said, "Look, Judah! Homework!!" :) Not surprisingly, he was totally intrigued. If you look closely to this photo, you will notice his gravitation to the picture of the baby...Which cracks me up because if anyone would find a picture of a baby in a statistics book under the title of "Two-Sample Tests of Hypothesis" it would be Judah. The boy LOVES babies and children.

(In fact the other day at the playground he started to run after a 4-ish year-old little girl saying, "Judah KISS babyyy!!" You'd better believ that before my two year old started chasing girls and trying to kiss them, I stopped him dead in his tracks. Neither boy understands that babies are smaller than they are, and they both think babies are meant to be kissed and hugged. Makes sense, right? :))

After a while, the boys lost interest and went back downstairs with me to play. But not too long later, they both ran upstairs again to see what Gabe was doing. Quickly they decided they would do homework with Daddy and piled on the couch next to him. :)

Gabe taught Micah how to push the graphing button on the calculator, and for quite a while the boys loved saying "parabola" in a very cute way. We got some great movie footage of this... Now whenever we ask Micah if he can make a parabola, he correctly and quickly pushes the upper right button and says "PrrrAAhrrr-berra!" :)

I think we have one or two engineers in the making, folks! :) Like Daddy, like sons...Starting them young!

Hope Is...

2010-03-30T21:33:00.002-04:00

“Hope is
Folding paper cranes
Even when your hands get cramped
And your eyes tired,
Working past blisters and paper cuts,
Simply because something in you
Insists on
Opening its wings.”

(Elizabeth Barrette)

I read this quote tonight and something inside me resonated with it. The words "Tired," "Cramped," "Blisters," "Working," "Cuts" in this poem seem to all have a few levels of meaning to me right now.

When thinking of myself and my physical experience, various topics come to mind -- Late nights at work. Laundry that I cannot catch up with. Boys who wake us up at night. Menu planning that isn't...well...planned. Runny noses. Jumping off of living room furniture. Peach juice mysteriously poured onto the already-messy floor under the highchairs, along with a chorus of mischievous giggling. More runny noses. The list could go on.

YET...Despite the fact that our lives are filled with two two-year-olds who aren't always super nice and easy on dear old mom & dad, there are more difficult places in which Gabe & I find our hearts, our emotions, our thoughts right now. The often tiring daily routine with the boys pales in comparison to the fatigue I feel in my heart for the children who do not have the honor and the privilege of driving their mommy & daddy crazy on a given day...Because mommy & daddy simply do not exist. And they're probably too ill to be too rambunctious for their own good.

Both Gabe & I have had our hearts twisted around in the past week. Ever since bringing the boys home (and even before that) we've had a fiery, burning passion inside of us to cry out to the church and say "WAKE UP!!!" on the issue of orphan care. We want other Christians like us with the means to give of themselves in a life-changing way to...Just do it. We are more compelled by the "Why are you NOT involved with adoption in some way?" question than the more common "That's just not our thing" statement that is all too often said. Even though the boys take up so much of our time, we earnestly want to be intentional about reaching out to our home churches here in Holland and beyond, challenging others to take on the cause of the orphan as their own cause...The cause Jesus has called us to anyway.

On Wednesday night, Gabe & I were looking on our adoption agency's website with "waiting children" listed.

(Now please just allow me to get on my soapbox for a minute.) The question I am dying to ask my fellow Christian brothers & sisters is this: "WHY are there waiting children?! Why are we allowing them to exist as such!?!" (I would also like to ask Jesus this question, but I think I already know His answer. He'd say, "Because those who say they love Me are not doing what I command.")

I was reading Keith Green's devotional "If You Love The Lord" a few days ago and devotional #2 hit me like a ton of bricks. It's called "Beyond the Bless-Me Club." He says:

One of (Jesus') toughest questions, posed in Luke 6:46, haunts me: "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord' and do not do what I say?" Jesus throws out this challenge because he knows human nature. He knows that you and I want the security of friendship with him. We want his love and peace, plus the assurance that we're going to spend eternity with him. He also knows, that, in our human nature we don't want it to cost us anything. We want something for nothing, sort of a personal "bless-me club."

But back to last Wednesday night. After the boys were finally in bed, we sat on the couch while I caught up on emails and Gabe read a recent issue of Popular Science next to me. It was the perfect "be together but get stuff done" sort of evening. I was writing emails, but also looking at the waiting child list as my heart broke for the little ones denoted by numbers in "camps" of other numbers. Physical deformities. Crippled arms & legs. Glassy-eyed faces of children whose mothers had abused drugs while pregnant. Children who are difficult to place in waiting adoptive families because they are the less desirables. The ones who aren't healthy, bouncing infants. The ones who have watched countless other children in their orphanages find homes with families and LEAVE...only to be left behind, knowing because some how they aren't desirable.

I combed through the faces, searching for who-knows whom. While Gabriel & I talk fondly about our next adoption, whenever that may be, we have not been actively looking for someone to adopt. In fact, we've been super blessed by friends and acquaintances in our lives who are considering adoption and are in various phases of the process and we feel quite strongly that a big part of our calling right now is to encourage them and keep them accountable as they find their way to the children who need to call them "mommy" and "daddy."

Under the category of ages 2-5yrs, on page #4, I stopped. Gabe happened to look up from his Popular Science magazine (actually, he was probably just pretending to read Popular Science and was looking at the kids with me all this time). Gabe said, "Let's take a look at her." I clicked. And Gabe's heart pounded.

I did not know Gabe's heart was pounding at the time. But I did know my heart soared to my throat. Dead silence. On the screen in front of us was the most beautiful little girl ever. And her name was...you'll never believe this... "Blessed Joy."

We combed through her profile, listing various physical deformities and also her personality, etc. I looked at Gabe. He looked at me. "How could anyone NOT want her?" are the exact words that came from Gabe's mouth. Then he said something like, "Well we could take her."

At that point, even though my emotions were gripped by this little face, I had not thought about US taking her...yet. But once Gabe mentioned it, it seemed just so natural and so normal for me to also think the same thing. No different than a little girl coming to your front door and saying "Will you take care of me?" Gabe & I both strive to have hearts that are quick to say "yes" when we already know it's about something the Lord would certainly want as well. Not that the Lord would necessarily want US to be her family, of course, but we know He desperately wants someone to step up and give Blessed Joy a family.

We went to bed heavy hearted, and of course I quickly thought about what it would be like to have a four year old and two (soon to be) three year olds. Oi. That thought was fleeting, though, because I knew deep inside of me that whatever inconveniences coming with 3 children 2 years apart would cause in my life PALES in comparison to the thought of Blessed Joy being institutionalized because of "undesirable" characteristics in her body that she can do nothing about. Gabe was quick to call the adoption agency the next day to ask about more information, and we were told that in order to adopt from her country we would have to be 27 years old and married for at least 3 years. Strike.

Making sure that "no" really WAS the answer, we checked with another person we know within the same agency and asked her the same question - could we? (Or I think in my nervousness I said something like, "Um...we have these friends..." ;)) She said she'd get back to us on Monday or Tuesday to see if an exception could be made.

From the onset of Blessed Joy penetrating our hearts, we knew we were so convicted by her that if we could NOT adopt her, we would bear her cause until her family was found. Even if the social worker said we would not qualify, we knew that would not mean a "no" to Blessed Joy. It would simply mean a "no" to being a Kalmbacher, but a "yes" to a personal burden we know we need to bear until her family is found.

On Friday afternoon when Gabe and I were talking about Blessed Joy, Gabe said something that I don't think I'll ever forget. We eating lunch after just putting the boys down for their naps. He said, "You know, if we can adopt her and we do adopt her, people will think we're really, really nuts. They'll say things like, 'but what about your financial situation? Certainly you can't afford this. You just adopted two boys! Aren't you trying to do too much?' You know what I'd say? 'Feel free to give me a prophetic word from the Lord that He says we shouldn't do this, but if you don't have a prophetic word, there is no way you could theologically or rationally talk me out of this.' Whenever adoption comes up, people talk about their financial welfare or situation not being enough. But who is thinking about HER financial situation? If this were their daughter out there, would they say they couldn't come up with the resources to go get her?" As Gabe's words fell on my ears, I am sure I fell even more in love with him.

Yesterday, we got the email. The country regulations would not allow a 25 & 26 year old (well, almost 25 & almost 26 year old) married for 2.2 years to adopt. Immediately we said, "Okay, well, thats our answer. So now we need to get busy."

By that evening, I was on the phone trying to get a prospective couple to hear my heart about this girl and asking them to consider adopting her. It strikes me how compelled we've felt these past 36 hours that we need to find her family right away...And it also strikes me to think, "What if every Christian family was assigned an orphan to either adopt themselves or to find a family for -- Not resting until they found this child a home?" Gabe has always teased me about my proclivity for wanting to play matchmaker for single friends of ours, because I never get the guts to actually do the matchmaking. I just talk about it. But now it makes even me laugh to think that the Lord is using my matchmaking heart to potentially match some mommy & daddy with their baby girl. I love it.

Please be praying for Blessed Joy...And for all the waiting children out there who desperately need someone to give them a chance. Please also be praying for her family, whomever they are...That their hearts will be gripped and they will be quick to act and bring their daughter home.

Thinking About Adoption? Good news!

2010-03-26T11:09:00.000-04:00

From the Christian Alliance for Orphans Blog:
Amidst the intense controversy of the health care bill signed into law by President Obama yesterday, there’s at least one provision every orphan advocate can cheer. The adoption tax credit was preserved for another year...and increased in value!
To encourage and support adoption, the adoption tax credit was expanded by President Bush and Congress in 2001. This increased the value of the credit from $5,000 to $10,000, and indexed it for inflation (meaning the credit would increase each year to keep up with inflation.) For 2010, its value had risen to $12,170. However, the 2001 increase was scheduled to “sunset” at the end of 2010. This would mean that any adoptions finalized after December 31, 2010 would be eligible for—at most—a credit of only $5,000.
This sunset has now been extended one year. That means that it will need to be extended again before the end of 2011. For the present, however, this extension comes as very welcome news for families considering adoption or in the adoption process.
Specifically, the provisions contained in the health care bill include:

The current adoption tax credit has been extended until the end of 2011;
The value of the adoption tax credit has been increased from $12,170 to $13,170.
The increase is “retroactive,” meaning that any adoption occurring after January 1, 2010 is eligible for this higher credit.
The credit is now refundable. This means that even families that owe zero taxes can receive the full tax credit in the form of a tax refund to help with their adoption-related expenses.

To read the legalese in the bill itself, see page 903 of 906 here.

Elizabeth Wiebe

Director of Outreach and Member Services

Christian Alliance for Orphans

Trading the Comfortable & Ordinary for the Insane and Extraordinary

2010-03-23T19:28:00.002-04:00

This video is one that Gabe & I watched one really cold evening in our upstairs bedroom on sketchy 15th Street last February...I think we had just found out about Judah (or were praying about him...dreaming about him) and I found this video through some adoption blog. It really caught our attention - We loved it! Today, I just happened across it again on FamilyLifeMomBlog. Check it out!

Promo for "3 by 3 by 3" Documentary from David Watson on Vimeo.

Show Hope

2010-03-22T21:57:00.000-04:00

Draft Become a Sponsor from Scott Hasenbalg on Vimeo.

Florida Pictures

2010-03-10T22:18:00.002-05:00

Florida pictures here! :)

Fast-Track Potty Training

2010-03-08T22:11:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note to announce some exciting news...We might have a nearly potty-trained Micah and an aspiring potty-trainee-to-be Judah! The answer? M&Ms. That's right...

What started as an incentive for Micah to allow us to change the dressing on a recent surgical procedure 4-5 times a day has now carried over to the potty training arena. Micah used to get two M&Ms (pronounced "emmm-EN-EMMM!") if he was brave and allowed us to change the bandage, and Judah would get two M&Ms just for being a supportive and very concerned little brother when Micah was carrying on and crying/complaining.

At first I was convinced this was just some parental weakness we had, giving into "bribing." But now I have been won over by Gabe's claims that this is simply "positive reinforcement of good behavior." This afternoon, Micah had a dry diaper for 6+ hrs and he even called out to go potty after Gabe put him to bed tonight. We'll wait and see what tomorrow brings, but so far both boys are so excited about M&M's (not to mention the brotherly competition aspect) that I'm really optimistic that I might have bought one of my last cases of diapers on tonight's Sams Club run. Small victories, hmm? :)

One other anecdote - Micah's been saying "Actually" quite a lot, which cracks us up. Something like, "Um, Mommy, Actually the car is Micah's." Or, "Actually, no go outside." Or, "Actually it Judah's mess." He says it so seriously, it's hilarious! This morning at 7:20am when Gabe and I were dying for a few more minutes of sleep, Micah came running into our room and said, "Actually it time to WAKE UPPP!" Thanks, Micah.

Judah has been consistently referring to things as "that one" and loves to refer to anything with a sound as "MAKE NOISE!" We keep hearing things like "that one dirty," or "Judah want that one," or "that one make noise!" (<-- a combination of both new favorite phrases). Everything from "hebbocopters" to the kitties to the radio and cars passing by are duly noted as "MAKE NOISE!" in his very cute little squeaky voice accompanied by a very cute scrunched-up face.

We're in love!

Apparent Crisis - "Millions Could Lose Oscar Broadcast"

2010-03-07T20:11:00.001-05:00

This is so wrong on SO many levels. The fact that this story ranks practically at the top on CNN.com and FOXnews.com, with over 270 comments posted in response, sickens me. Americans in "danger" and "threat" of not being able to watch the Oscars. Can I say "WAKE UP!"? There is a real, hurting world out there DYING or at best SURVIVING while you just might not be able to watch your big flat-screen, high-def televisions tonight as celebrities prance around and stir up "great" gossip.

Now don't get me wrong - I am not against the Oscars, just as I am not necessarily against TV or movies or anything like that. That is not what I'm talking about. The problem with this "news" story and the sense of outrage and urgency about millions of people not being able to watch the Oscars is what really gets me. As if watching the Oscars is a right and some people might not be able to have that right tonight. I don't think I have enough time to devote to this post to start listing all the REAL "rights" that the overwhelming majority of humanity cannot partake in tonight while a sliver of an elect few (ahem...millions of Americans) might not be able to watch movie stars get awards for accomplishments that are not really award-worthy.

Let's see...Take a few moments to compare the audacity of not having food, clean water, clothing, a home, a family, electricity, a toilet, an honest way to make money for yourself...and then compare it with the audacity of your cable television provider not allowing you to watch the Oscars tonight. THAT'S what bothers me.

Back from Florida - And our new blog look is coming soon!

2010-02-28T22:19:00.005-05:00

Here is one of the many wonderful photos of memories made in Florida last week. The boys LOVED Florida...We loved it too...So many "firsts" and sweet times! First time meeting Great-Grandma, Aunt Anita, Uncle Russell, Great Tilly, Uncle Matt & Auntie Amanda! First time at the beach - And the OCEAN no less! Looking forward to posting more soon.

Also, be on the lookout for a brand-new blog look coming soon! You will hardly recognize us. ;) Hope you like it!

There Are No Orphans Of God

2010-02-08T23:19:00.000-05:00

Sunday Afternoon Pictures

2010-02-07T15:45:00.000-05:00

Pictures from the boys' past two weeks...Can you believe this coming Thursday marks 12 weeks since they arrived home to Michigan?

Micah riding in a "boat on the water" with his teddy bear (complete with rocking from side-to-side, pretending there are waves on the water). :)

Judah carrying his "baby" on his back - Using one of two backpacks Auntie Linda & Maggie gave the boys...They've had a renewed interest in the babies lately, wanting to put them to sleep under a blanket and wanting them tucked into bed with them. Cute!

Micah with HIS baby on his back...

Judah has always been our messy eater, but recently he's perfected his messiness to include mixing various foods in his milk cup while Mommy & Daddy aren't looking. ;) Here, with fresh oatmeal on his little face, he stirs some mystery concoction... Most likely some of his banana in his milk. On Thursday, he somehow managed to fit half his PB&J sandwich in the cup...With milk...And then proceeded to eat it with his spoon. We've got a long way to go when it comes to table manners!

About one morning a week (while Gabe is studying) I've taken the boys to a local church that has an indoor playground. Last week, we met up with new friends Carter & Lachlan (their mom and I know each other from working together at Zeeland Hospital). Here they are taking a break from all the fun and enjoying their snacks. Aren't they cute!? One of the things I've learned as a new mom is that snacks (or "shhhhnacks!" as M&J call them) are very, very important parts of a toddler's day.

Judah :)

Micah :)

Judah & Lachlan - The snack-eating machines!

Judah taking a "big STEP!" on the playground.

Brown Bear & Dinner Time Prayer (and a Lawyer)

2010-01-28T23:25:00.001-05:00

Tonight at dinner time, I asked Micah if he wanted to pray for us (instead of either Gabe or me praying followed by Micah saying in his toddler-speak "abah a bleh a hema...A MEN!!!" and both boys clapping their hands).

Well...

With us all holding hands together around the table and our heads bowed, Micah very seriously bowed his head and began praying in a long string of words that I couldn't decipher. Something like, "Dear Jesus, ahem-ana tenata yah yah yah (etc, etc)." After a few moments of jabbering, I could hear him say, "and Mommy and Daddy and Grandma and Judah..."

I thought, "Oh, how cute - He's praying for each person like Gabe and I usually pray!" :)

Then, without missing a beat, he proceeded to say, "and goldfish, and red bird, and brown bear and blue horse...and children and teacher. A-MENNNNN!!!"

It was no doubt the first time my mom or I (poor Gabe was at school in Grand Rapids - he missed it!) have ever prayed "Brown Bear" before. But to Micah and Judah, it seemed like nothing out of the ordinary. They just proceeded to eat happily. :) So cute!

Oh - And today Gabe and I had our first consultation with a family law attorney here in Holland who we hope will be the one to assist us in adopting the boys in Ottawa County. He's not quite sure how we're going to do this, but he's going to do some more research and get back to us in the next few days. We're praying he comes up with a good way to do it - As far as we know, other than our friends over near Detroit right now, a Ugandan legal guardianship/adoption process like this has never been done in Michigan before...?!? As he explained to us, even though we know many others who have successfully adopted their Ugandan children in other states, he doesn't think Michigan law will allow us to adopt the children without first becoming their legal guardians in Michigan (right now we have legal guardianship from Uganda which the US federal government recongizes as sufficient to bring them into the country on immigrant visas). So it's quite possible we'll have to do two separate processes in court - Once to request legal guardianship, then another time to request adoption. We're not quite sure how much this is going to cost us with the added step, but we're hoping it isn't too bad. After all we've been through in the Ugandan process, even this uncertainty seems like a cake walk - At least we have our boys in our own home now and we know that won't change!

Micah's Neurology Appointment

2010-01-27T22:38:00.005-05:00

The picture above includes Micah's super-favorite food: Oat-MEE-OH! Commonly it is the second word that comes out of his mouth every morning, following either "mommy!" or "daddy!"

A few of you have been emailing us with questions about the results of Micah's neurology consult...And ever so politely dropping a hint or two that we need to be updating our blog more often. :) So sorry to keep you all in suspense; Micah's scheduled consultation on the 13th of January was canceled by the doctor at the last minute and we were rescheduled for TODAY (Jan 27) at noon.

Since Grandma Dareen is here for 2 days to visit, she kept Judah at home and fed him lots of cookies and yummy treats while Gabe & I took Micah to the doctor (don't worry - Micah got some spoiling by Grandma when he got home!). We soon realized that our little outing to Grand Rapids was our very FIRST "Gabe, Anna and ONE child" outing we've EVER had! Sure, we often split the boys up so one of us takes Judah and one of us takes Micah to the grocery store or something, but we've never had two of us to one child. I must say the whole outing was very easy, very low-maintenance with only one boy involved. After his appointment, we even took him out for his favorite treat at a local fast-food place (French Fries, or "CHIPS!" as he calls it) and it was an incredibly easy and fun time. How boring it would be if we only had Micah in our lives - I don't know how some families start out with only one kid! ;)

But anyway - Back to the point of Micah's neurology appointment. We met with Dr. Foody, a pediatric neurosurgeon at DeVos Children's Hospital who reviewed Micah's brain CT scans from December 2009 and October 2008. Going into this appointment, we weren't really expecting to hear a diagnosis different from the one that Dr. Mugaba gave us at CURE Pediatric Neuosurgery Hospital in Uganda: dermoid cyst. We were basically just wondering what Dr. Foody would suggest regarding when to schedule a surgery or if a surgery needed to be done, etc.

MUCH to our surprise, both Dr. Foody and his physician's assistant told us that they highly doubt Micah's bump is a dermoid cyst; they think it is encephalocele. Similar to Spina Bifida, where there is an out-pouching of the spinal cord, encephalocele is an outpouching of the BRAIN. Yes, they both are quite certain that instead of a cyst floating on top of his brain (as we had been told before), they believe that the bump actually IS part of his brain. And yes, I actually did get nauseous when they told us this, as I thought of how very close we were to having this "cyst" surgically removed in Uganda. Dr. Foody told us it's really important to protect that spot - Which of course made my mind race to think of the times I noticed other little ones at Amani hitting at Micah's head with a toy out of their innocent curiosity. Tonight we are very grateful to the Lord for protecting Micah's precious little head through all these life experiences he's had so far - What a vulnerable, fragile thing. The reason why the doctor is quite convinced it's encephalocele instead of a dermoid cyst is because the "bump" has significantly decreased in the past 4 months; a dermoid cyst, according to this doctor, would not change in size like that...In fact it would tend to grow, not shrink.

Other than being incredibly humbled and thankful today, there isn't much more we can do than pray that this precious spot on Micah's head continues to decrease and that in time his skull will properly close like it is supposed to. He will have a fancy MRI of his brain done some time in April, after which a conclusive diagnosis and plan for care will be made (surgical vs. non-surgical). Thank you all for praying for Micah! Many of you have been praying ever since you first heard his story back in October 2008. With lots of prayer and love we know it is entirely possible that this encephalocele can continue to shrink back where it is supposed to be, hopefully without surgical correction.

As we look through some web sites tonight and research "encephalocele," we are amazed and thankful that our son is quite non-symptomatic and has what is obviously a very mild condition. As I read through all the possible residual neurological effects of this condition, it is a huge blessing to know that Micah is SO healthy compared to other children and adults with this. For this, we praise God. And yet my heart hurts tonight...My heart and emotions say, "If only she knew...If only she knew it wasn't because of anything she did wrong to make him this way or that it is anything life-threatening...That he would grow normally...That she could be there today with us as the doctor said, 'He has such a mild case, it isn't anything to really worry too much about'." I wish there was some way I could tell her that he is okay. Tonight as I reflected about this on my way home from work, just like many nights recently, I realized I long for heaven more than my 24-year-old self ever thought possible. There are just too many things unable to be said during this time on earth.

And now, partly because it is late and partly because I sit here in a puddle of tears, here are some very cute and very happy pictures to share with you... We are blessed!

Judah, very happy about spaghetti.

M&J hanging out in Judah's crib before nap time - Gabe said they both wanted to be in there, so he tucked them in and they stayed there for 20 minutes just chatting and giggling with one another before he had to move Micah to his bed. Notice Micah with all 4 of his blankets on him (the way he sleeps every nap and bed time!) and Judah with NO blankets on him (he refuses them EVERY time so we have to cover him up after he's asleep!). :)Brothers :) :)

This is just a silly picture of the boys playing with combs in their hair. Micah was clearly excited to stick things in Judah's hair; Judah played along for a while (as seen above) but eventually Judah was sick of being the guinea pig.

Is he OK?

2010-01-24T17:43:00.002-05:00

I just stumbled upon this blog post...And had to share. Check it out here.

Our Baby's Beautiful Bump

2010-01-11T22:01:00.003-05:00

Please be praying for Micah and the neurologist as we take him to his first appointment on Wednesday morning at 11am in Grand Rapids... For 15mos we've looked forward to having his precious little bump (dermoid cyst) cared for by this doctor who will do his surgery (more details to come once we learn more!). While we are happy to finally have Micah home, healthy, and able to undergo surgery under the care of a highly recommended surgeon...No doubt this will be an emotional time for Mommy (and Daddy!). There are not enough words to describe how much we love our little man Micah - And one of the parts of him that we first fell in love with was his perfectly beautiful "bump."

Biblical Foundation for Adoption

2010-01-10T20:02:00.002-05:00

Hello Friends... Just a quick post to see if I might be effective in directing you to this website. Please check it out! It's one of the most comprehensive and concise overviews of the Bible related to adoption that I've read. The rest of the site is pretty great, too... Read it and let me know what you think! Lots here to discuss!

Goodbye 2009 - Micah & Judah style.

2010-01-01T23:28:00.006-05:00

Micah and Judah didn't mess around on New Year's Eve when they inadvertently helped us say, "Goodbye, 2009!" by knocking down our 2009 Christmas tree. While I was at work and Gabe was making food for the boys, Gabe heard a loud crash in the living room which coincided with loud screaming and wailing. This is what the scene looked like after a horrified Micah was extracted from under the tree and a dumbfounded Judah vacated the premises. (We're unsure who pulled the tree down, but since Micah was under the tree it was probably him.) We're glad we can laugh, since no one was injured - Just a scratch on Micah's nose. These Kalmbacher boys sure do know how to make a memory for Mom & Dad!

Yes, I'm talking about THESE two. Don't they have mischief written all over their faces? :)

Christmas Musings

2009-12-29T22:19:00.005-05:00

This Christmas season was one we will never forget.

Not because it was super-dramatic, had a lot of fanfare, or that the number of material presents caused it to be unforgettable. Not because Jesus is more alive today or sitting more squarely on the throne of heaven today than he was ever before...Neither the commercial nor the Christian "stuff" of Christmas has changed. But our human perspective sure has.

Christmas of 2009 was Gabriel & Anna Kalmbacher's first Christmas with children in their little family. Both children were already born in our hearts at the point of Christmas 2008, but last year they weren't eating French toast with us on Christmas morning...Or learning how to unwrap presents for the first time (it didn't take much for them to become experts at paper-tearing. Trust us).
At many points over the past few weeks, Gabe and I have looked at each other and wistfully sighed as we realize we've never been more physically exhausted yet never so content in our earthly position in life. Right now at the close of 2009 we have the blessing of tangible, physical testimonies to the power of God at work amongst His people - Two short, fast and very loud ones! The miracle of our adoption in Christ has not changed in 2009 just as Christ has not changed in 2009 - And yet the impact of our spiritual adoption as a son and daughter of God and the impact of our earthly involvement with physical adoption have radically changed us this year. Our eyes have been opened to the necessity that Christ followers live a James 1:27 lifestyle...For this revelation we are humbled and thankful.

Tonight at the supper table...In the midst of eating a small bowl of corn...Micah stoutly proclaimed in his deep and raspy voice, "Micah has a DADDY!" He had a cute little smile on his face. He motioned to Gabe in the kitchen, then looked up at me before quickly returning to fill his spoon with kernels of canned corn. I was left with a little tear to my eye - I wish Gabe was close enough at that moment to hear Micah's proclamation. It's a moment I'll never forget, and one that Gabe will never forget the next time he hears Micah say it again.

The gusto with which Micah made his passionate proclamation at the dinner table reminded me of the conviction that Gabe & I held in our hearts at this same time last year. It was something along the lines of: "We need to find our second son!! We know about Micah, but who is the other? He must be found!!" With boldness and certainty, we knew Micah wasn't the only one. Little did we know at the time that Judah arrived in Jinja on Christmas Eve and HE was the other little one to whom our hearts were drawn.
Together, we know this "first family Christmas" will always hold a special place in our memories. Yet my mind cannot help but think ahead to the other "first Christmases" that lay ahead of us when more members of our family become ours just like Micah and Judah are now ours. Some day on Christmases in the future we'll look back on Christmas 2009 photos and say, "Aw, wasn't that cute? Just the four of us? We actually fit around that little table of great-grandma Marshall's! No way we could do that now..."

Happy Birthday, Little One!!

2009-12-22T23:03:00.006-05:00

Sunday was the day we celebrated Judah's 2nd birthday. It was a fun weekend with Grandma Carol, Grandpa Greg and Uncle David here at the end of the "Great Kalmbacher Week of Christmas" which lasted from December 13-21. :)

On Saturday night, we took the family to the Critter Barn in Zeeland to see all the farm animals. Micah and Judah are slightly obsessed with Eric Carle's "Brown Bear" book lately, therefore the ducks were excitedly and accurately identified as "YELLOW Duck!" As you will see in subsequent photos, Micah was the brave participant in animal-petting while Judah preferred for me to hold him.
Micah, alone in the goat pen. This was at the moment of realization that Mommy, Daddy, Judah and family were OUT there and he was IN there. He was very, very brave with those goats.

Judah touching just the tip of a goat's fur...Can't get too close...!

Bunnies! Again, Judah was wary.
Micah with some sort of an angora rabbit who was sitting all by himself.

Judah was most interested in climbing on things - Here, the boys play with cats in the cat pen with Uncle David.
After Manna Church on Sunday, the family went out to Red Robin for "chips" and burgers. Judah, ever the adventurous one, ate his Parmesan noodles AND chips (French fries) while Micah just stuck to his chips and ketchup.

The nice waitresses came out to sing Judah the Red Robin "Happy Birthday" song and gave the boys balloons...Which just so happened to be orange and blue. They also brought an ice cream sundae for the boys, who did a good job of eating the whole thing together.

Back at home on Sunday evening, Judah had his first experience with birthday hats, candles and birthday cake. Above, he protests at the elastic strap on the hat while making some protest-worthy sounds and a frustrated face.

Here, he is clearly excited about having a cake ALL to himself (or so he thought...see below). We sang the "Happy Birthday to Judah" song, followed by Micah leading his own little "Happy Birthday to Micah" song. It was really cute.

With a LOT of coaching, Judah attempted to blow out the candles by blowing extremely tiny "whews." We tried to get him to blow harder but he did not waver in his concentration. Despite our warnings, a few seconds after this photo was taken Judah decided to attempt to pinch the flame on one of the candles and every adult in the house jumped and shouted in response. Fearless little boy, he is...
Finally - Eating "Yummy, yummy CAKE."

Micah, thoroughly enjoying his cake...and wanting more.

Just look at this sneaky act of cake-stealing!!! This is unfortunately a sight we often see at meal or snack time: Micah distracting Judah, then reaching over for the kill.

Once again, Micah attempts to hijack Judah's birthday cake joy when everyone else is posing for a picture. Ah, brothers.

Now, we have two two-year-old sons! And in two weeks we will be celebrating our two-year wedding anniversary. I recently told Gabe that he should never have trouble remembering the number of years we are married or the ages of his two oldest kids...We're all the same number! :)

Christmas Pictures

2009-12-22T22:51:00.003-05:00

On an icy-cold day during the first week of December, we took the boys to nearby Baker Lofts to get some photos for our Christmas card. In October, I scheduled our first family photos with a favorite photographer of ours in Grand Rapids for the first week in December but she ended up canceling at the last minute due to a family emergency. With all other photographers unavailable on short notice, we got in touch with a sophomore Hope College student named Danielle who wanted some practice with her camera...And she did a great job! The boys were uncooperative most of the time, but we still managed to pull off a few good shots.

,

Woe to You Who Laugh

2009-12-16T16:53:00.000-05:00

It's been over a week since our last post...Time is flying by! We cannot believe that tomorrow marks 4 weeks since Gabe and the boys came home. Life is so FULL. This week, Gabe's parents, brothers and sister are in Holland to celebrate "Christmas" together with us - More photos soon.

Last night, I caught up on one of my favorite blogs...One that I've mentioned before. The Abba Fund blog is one of the places where we stay updated on a variety of issues pertaining to orphan care, adoption, and James 1:27 living. I always find something there which causes me to pause. Last night after the boys went to bed, I logged on and the tears flowed as I read a post from More Love to Give and I watched this clip on YouTube. I want to share this with you all.

"The issue I have is not with Christians enjoying life and living it to the full. The issue I have is Christians enjoying life and living it to the full while ignoring the condition of the poor around the world. It is wrong for us to spend our life and energy pursuing our happiness at the expense of those who live in oppression and poverty." ~ Jason Bollinger

Happy Green Card Day to M & J!!

2009-12-07T12:32:00.000-05:00

What a surprise! Today we received the boys' green cards in the mail. We weren't expecting them until early 2010! Even though their current visas serve as the equivalent to their green cards until processing is complete, we are still are so tickled to have these very shiny and very official cards in our possession. :)

Excitement!

Examining their pictures closely...

Sweet!

Health Checkups with Dr. Amanda!

2009-12-05T23:35:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday marked the boys' first 2 weeks in Michigan - Unbelievable!

We are having a lot of fun, doing a lot of adjusting...But life is great! Our biggest concern/desire right now is for improved sleep, but we hope the current inconsistencies will soon balance out.

Here, the boys cuddle up on our big blue chair after breakfast. Yes, that's Judah holding one of my makeup brushes. He pretends to brush his hair with it when he sees me brushing my hair in the morning. It probably feels a lot better on his head than the real brush we use on those tight curls of his!

Whenever I leave for work or Gabe goes out to run errands, the boys sit at this spot near the east window of our living room and wave goodbye. They are very intentional at proclaiming "Mommy's Go-go car" or "Daddy's Go-go car" depending on who is driving which car.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, the highchairs are working fabulously. Before they came home, one of my last-minute projects was to sew a nylon "seatbelt" on to Judah's chair. I didn't have enough time to put one on Micah's, but as it turns out we really only need it on Judah's anyway. He twists...he turns...he flails...all depending on what he does or does not want to eat and whatever he is distracted by. :) Just look at these two precious faces... We're still working on table manners!

On November 25th, we took the boys to their very first well-child checkups here in the States...Their nurse practitioner is none other than Dr. Amanda, of course! Amanda was my nursing professor at Hope and continues to be a good friend. It was through her recruiting me to go to Cameroon in 2006 with the Hope College EWB group that Gabe and I first met. When we had to choose a PCP for the boys, she was our obvious first choice!
Here, Micah examines the peculiar attire that the nurse made Judah change into...Wondering if he's next!

Soon after having Judah change out of all his clothes and then wrap a blue pad around him, the nurse took us down the hallway to weigh the boys. Judah weighed 26lbs, and Micah weighed in at 33lbs. It was at this point that the purpose of Judah's attire made some sense to Micah...Judah had to sit in the baby seat scale, and Micah was able to stand on the adult scale with his clothes on.

Ever wanting to join in on the fun, Micah motioned with his arm and said something like "Micah up," indicating that he also wanted to sit in the special seat like Judah did.

As you can see, the experience wasn't all that poor Micah thought it would be. Slightly traumatized.

Back in the examination room while we waited for Dr. Amanda to appear, the boys proceeded to run around, explore ever possible corner of the room, and make their mother seriously ponder questions such as, "Are germs in Uganda better or worse than the germs in a well-kempt examination room in the States?" They wanted. To touch. Everything.

After waiting for a while, Micah decided he would enjoy escaping the room and running down the hallway. But he didn't get too far -- I was strategically positioned at the door.

Both boys are absolutely fascinated by turning door knobs, opening and closing doors, etc.

Micah, having his mouth examined and saying "Ahhhhhh!"

On Micah's developmental assessment, we discovered that he meets all of the developmental markers for a 3-year-old. That doesn't account for the severely malnourished state he was in a year ago and some difficult first few years of his life...Wow! We thought he was closer to 2 or 2.5 years.

Judah, very interested in the stethoscope.

Judah's developmental assessment placed him at somewhere between 18mos and 2 years old, right around the age we were thinking. (His birthday is currently December 20th.) On quite a few occasions we've had to explain to various people that he is 1 year and 11 months old -- Not 11 months old which was put on his birth certificate in Uganda. The nurses all did double-takes when they expected to see an infant but met our very active Judah instead!

Anna, Micah, Amanda & Judah...Right before the nurses came to give Micah four of his immunizations and Judah three of his immunizations. Ouch!! Thankfully "sweetie" suckers can make a lot of tears disappear.

Who would have thought that only two years after graduating from nursing school and taking Amanda's pediatrics class, I would be bringing my very own pediatric family members to her for care? I also think of the many African (Cameroonian) "children under the age of 5 years" who were the focus of the clean water projects and health education teaching that Amanda, Gabriel, myself and many other friends invested their time in. And now instead of hearing the "Wash-Your-Hands/Diarrhea-Is-No-Fun" song being sung by little voices on the mountain sides of Nkuv, Cameroon, Micah and Judah and I sing it in the bathroom together when I teach THEM how to wash their hands. What rich, beautiful experiences and relationships have been a part of my life in such a short period of just a few years. Praise God!

New Adventures of Judah & Micah

2009-11-28T19:16:00.008-05:00

Micah and Judah's first morning in their new home was filled with wonder, glee, and lots of fun new things to explore. Gabe and I felt like it was Christmas morning for us, as we experienced everything from the perspectives of our one & two-year-old sons for the first time.

It was quite obvious that neither boy had a clue who I was until the wee hours of Friday morning when Micah cried to be brought into bed with Gabe (this time I as there as well - surprise!). Judah started fussing shortly after Micah did, and I went to his crib to comfort him. For both boys, their eyes lit up with the realization of who I was and of course they had very large smiles. It was precious! The photo above was taken within 10 minutes of our being reunited at around 5:30am. The stuffed animals are from Aunt Florry, and the boys immediately loved them. Micah correctly pronounced "Puppppyyy!!!" and hugged his dog, while Judah, having never seen a tiger before and always wanting to copy older brother, pronounced "Puppeeee!" and hugged his tiger. We still aren't 100% sure he believes the tiger isn't a dog. ;)
Both boys navigating our rather scary staircase. Thankfully they have a very healthy respect for stairs - They're very careful. Still, we occasionally use the baby gate just to be safe. Micah loves to show off his jumping skills by standing on the bottom step and saying "readddyy....get set....GO!" followed by jumping the 10-inch drop rather dramatically. The other night at dinner, Micah kept doing his jumping routine when Gabe and I heard far up the staircase, "wwweadyyyy...get cccetttt...GOHH!" Both of us were to our feet in an instant because we both knew that of all people Judah would be daring/crazy enough to copy Micah from about 8 steps up. Thankfully he was just teasing, but it served as a good reminder that we can never fail to keep a constant eye on the little guy.

I bought these balloons for the boys' homecoming - Note the "It's a boy!" writing. :) They've gotten a LOT of mileage out of them!

Judah made his way into the living room and correctly and emphatically pronounced, "Auntie JUDY!" and "Maweeeahhh!" BIG smiles from both M & J...They often refer to that picture from time to time. I know they love the familiar faces. :)

Running to new toys in our basement/playroom.

My sweet coworker Beth at Hospice gave the boys this little table and chairs - They did not waste any time getting to work with their new legos!

Breakfast time in their highchairs (thanks, Lois!) with their Elmo bibs and eating eggs. We are thrilled with how well the highchairs work out. So much easier than the previous 3 months of having them sit in our laps or eating at a low table...This is EASY!!

After breakfast, back to more playing downstairs. Note Micah's one sock on and one sock off...He sat in the back of the Tonka truck for a very long time, occasionally asking us to push him around as he proclaimed, "Go-go car!" (translation: motorcar). Judah was content to play on his boda-boda four wheeler.

The boys watched carefully as Gabe went outside to do something in the garage...They sat at this window for a long time and pointed out which car is Mommy's and which car is Daddy's. They never get it wrong - Very attentive to detail.

Back upstairs to the boys' room. They correctly declared which crib was Judah's and which crib was Micah's. I put them in their respective cribs to play around a little bit, but then they wanted to switch. Here, Micah is in his brother's crib and displays a classic "pout" face which we are really hoping is just a passing thing. If he is told even the gentlest "no," he gets very solemn and quiet and looks like this. He doesn't cry, and doesn't throw a fit - Just gets very, very frozen. We are always deliberate at telling him we love him and make a big effort to comfort him when he does this, trying to explain why we said no and assure him it's okay. We're really praying for wisdom in knowing how to handle times like these.

The boys getting a little rowdy in Micah's crib. Don't worry, jumping on the bed isn't a typical activity in the Kalmbacher household...But I figured an inaugural jump or two wouldn't hurt. ;)

Here the boys are on their first trip to the Moran Park playground. Both boys really, really wanted to go outside so we bundled them up and took them for a walk. Micah wasn't too excited about the slide - He preferred to be held and have me walk him around to see at all the swings, slides, etc. Judah was quite fearless, as usual.

This photo above makes me smile as I wonder what thoughts were racing through M & J's minds when we took them outside our house for their first walk in the neighborhood. Knowing how lush and tropical it is in Jinja, no doubt they probably thought we brought them to a wasteland of trees with no leaves, dead grass, grey dirt and sidewalks, and only an occasional frantic squirrel scurrying here and there. (They call the squirrels "kitties" but we're working on that.) Neither boy seems to mind the cold too much - Although the idea of wearing coats, mittens and hats are a foreign concept which they are slowly becoming accustomed to.

Long Overdue: Pictures!

2009-11-28T12:15:00.006-05:00

It's been 9 days since Gabe and the boys came home... We are still in awe and amazement that they're ACTUALLY home!! So much waiting...so many tears...so many hopes and dreams. So much prayer...resulting in such a beautiful and precious reality. They're OURS - And we are theirs!
There have been many sleepless nights, but other than that we can honestly say the boys (and we?) have done FAR better than we could have hoped. With them now being here at our home, I realize how valuable and sweet it was to be able to go through some really rough adjustments while we were still in Uganda - Living together for a combined 2 months and 3 weeks before rocking their world by coming to the States. I cannot imagine what a shock to all our worlds it would be if Micah and Judah were only now starting to adjust to Gabe and me being "Daddy" and "Mommy." Living in Uganda for so long, while not easy, was certainly a blessing in this regard. Nearly all our adjustments this past week have involved adjusting to sleep, food, new beds, kitties, and a new home environment while our relationships between the four of us have only continued to flourish. We are SO blessed for the bonding progress we are able to steadily build off of, day by day!

Now for some photos which many of you have probably seen on Facebook already. These are from Laurel, a dear "auntie" from Kalamazoo who spent time with Micah and Judah at Amani last winter. Thank you, Laurel (and Ed, Linda, Greg, Maggie...everyone who took pictures!)! We were thrilled to have so many dear friends show up at the airport and welcome the Kalmbacher boys home!!
As if the events of the past 3 months weren't dramatic enough -- The guys were delayed via Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, due to there not being enough fuel in Entebbe for the plane to make it to the Amsterdam airport. Instead of being home at 2:40pm in the afternoon on Thursday, they were rescheduled to land in Grand Rapids at 8:35pm. Due to high traffic and previous weather problems in Detroit, their actual arrival time was closer to 9pm. We certainly can't complain about such a short delay - But, still, I had to laugh at the irony. At least their delay enabled the Higgins' to make it there in time for their arrival!!

...And there they are!

As our little crowd kept looking intently at the arrival gate for Gabe and the boys, cameras poised and ready, we got quite a few smiles from other passengers who came down the ramp before Gabe did. There were about 2-4 passengers who mentioned in passing, "I bet you are waiting for two very handsome little boys!!" or "I sat right in front of the little guys you're waiting for!" One middle-aged female passenger said, "I've got to stand by and watch with you all" and proceeded to join our group.

Both boys were fast asleep, completely oblivious to the joy surrounding them! :)

Judah, precious as ever.

The VISAS!

For all of you who have prayed us through - We rejoice together! Jesus says in John 14:17, "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you." David says in Psalm 68:8, "God sets the lonely in families." It was CHRIST who destined Micah and Judah to have family- We simply showed up to do our part, and those of you who have prayed and given have done your part. We won't lose sight of the fact that Jesus is the one who brought these boys this far. Too many times this process could have fallen to pieces if we had set out to do this outside the Lord's leading. We are thrilled and honored to be mere characters in the script of this beautiful redemption story.

The Trip Home

2009-11-22T14:56:00.007-05:00

We thought you might enjoy seeing our ride home in picture format, so have posted the pictures below along with a brief synopsis of the trip.

We began Wednesday by completing the last of our packing and saying good-bye to our friends on the compound where we were staying. We left for the US Embassy at 12:45 and arrived just in time for our appointment at 3:00. It took only about 5 minutes for me to pick up the visas and other paperwork there and we were back on the road headed toward the airport. This proved to be the most uneventful part of our trip.

We stopped at a restaurant to have dinner and while away a few hours before checking in for our flight. Above is a picture of the boys holding their days-old passports containing their visas at the restaurant.

When we arrived to check in nearly 4 hours before our scheduled departure we were handed a sheet of paper informing us that there was no fuel to re-fuel the plane with so we would have to make an unscheduled stop in Ethiopia to get enough fuel to make it back to Amsterdam. This was expected to cause a 1.5 hour delay. We figured this was alright since we had a 3 hour layover in Amsterdam and should therefore be able to make our flight. However, when we got to check-in we encountered another problem. My mother (pictured above with the boys in the waiting room in Entebbe) was able to check in normally, but when they went to run my tickets the check-in system crashed. We waited at least an hour while technicians attempted to resolve the problem, and were eventually checked in over the phone and given hand-written boarding passes and baggage check stubs. We were thankful to have been at the head of the line, but then had to wait a couple more hours as all the remaining passengers were manually checked in for their flights. This, combined with the late arrival of the incoming flight, resulted in our leaving well over an hour behind schedule.

The boys amazed me by staying awake (and relatively happy) until shortly before boarding in Entebbe (around midnight local time). However once aboard they both slept soundly for the duration of the flight, waking up only shortly before landing.

We landed in Amsterdam about the same time our connecting flight was scheduled to depart, so had no chance of making the connection. Due to minor errors in the bookings for the boys we ended up waiting in line for well over an hour, and then for about half an hour at the counter, for an agent to make necessary corrections to our tickets and re-book us on the next available seats to Detroit - departing about 4 hours later. This of course made us miss the next connection as well, so we were re-booked for that to arrive about 6 hours later than originally scheduled back in Grand Rapids. Given everything that had happened we were content with only being 6 hours behind schedule. My Mom did not even miss her last connection of the day in MN.

For the trouble and delay we were given a number of vouchers by KLM, one of which included a credit towards food at the restaurants in the airport. I considered my options (and what the boys would eat), and decided to load up on McDonald's fare. I knew for sure they'd at least eat the fries and ice cream. We of course had to document their first McD-experience.

The next flight the boys were ready for a nap just as we got on, and slept for a couple hours. Then they woke up for about 4 hours or so and had fun with stickers, running up and down the aisles (above), snacks, books, and anything else we could find that would entertain them and keep them from bothering others. They slept again the final couple hours of the flight, and slept right through Immigration and re-checking our bags (except Judah who started crying very loudly at the immigration desk for a while).

In Detroit, once we had cleared immigration (Yeah!) and neared my departure gate we got this picture of me carrying all my hand-carry and managing both boys at the same time. It was quite a load. My mom had to leave us shortly before we boarded to go to her flight to MN, which left both boys, and especially Micah, rather unhappy. I had hoped he could walk on board while I carried all the stuff and Judah, but he was in a sulk and refused to move at all. Thankfully the other passengers were very kind and helpful and a few of them offered to carry my bags so I could carry Micah. What a blessing!

When I landed in GRR I was greeted by a small crowd of friends who had come to the airport to welcome us home. It was of course a very emotional and happy time of reunion with Anna and seeing so many dear friends. There are pictures on facebook (somehow connected to Anna - if you know facebook I'll assume you know how to find them. I have no idea) of my arrival at the airport in Grand Rapids.

Thanks all for your prayers and support throughout this whole process. We are hugely blessed by your love and support for us and we know we could not have made it without you. We plan to continue posting updates here periodically in the following months as we finalize the adoption here in the States.

Home at last!

2009-11-19T22:50:00.002-05:00

There are no words...Many tears of joy.

At this very moment, Micah is fast asleep in the middle of our bed, Judah is asleep in his crib, and Gabe is in the shower. Family life at our own home has officially begun!! We'll write more soon when we have photos and more details to share, but for now please know that all the Kalmbachers are safe and sound and happy to be home!

If you're on Facebook, photos are already uploaded there from friends. We were SO blessed to see the dedicated and HAPPY people who came to greet Gabe and the boys. :) THANK YOU for sharing this special time with us!!

Love,
Anna, Gabriel, Micah & Judah Kalmbacher

They're in Detroit, waiting to come HOME!

2009-11-19T18:11:00.003-05:00

I just spoke with Gabriel - He, Micah, Judah & Carol are all at the gate waiting for the Grand Rapids flight. They made it through immigration without any problems, got their bags checked to the correct destination, and have plenty of time to spare. :D Soon, Carol will have to say goodbye and make her way to her gate to fly to Minnesota while Gabe and the boys come to Grand Rapids. I'm praying that it will be a non-traumatic goodbye for the boys (and Carol!).

Gabriel said the boys are really cranky right now, which is understandable. They only slept a few hours on the plane, and according to their internal body clocks right now it's 2am. Poor little ones... I can't wait to get them home and in their little beds (after lots of celebrating, kissing and hugging of course!).

I'm only an hour away from leaving for Grand Rapids -- Wow!! Their flight is currently on time, so the arrival time is still 8:35pm. See you there!

Important NEW Flight Information

2009-11-18T23:47:00.002-05:00

I'll keep this short and sweet...Due to their unexpected (but very necessary!) detour through Ethiopia on the way to Amsterdam, Gabe, Carol and the kids will be arriving at least 3 hours late in Europe. Since they clearly won't make their original flight to Detroit, their tickets have already been booked for new flights as seen below. Please note this NEW information!

Flight NW249 departs Amsterdam 2:20pm, arrives in Detroit at 5:35pm (EST).
Flight NW7013 departs Detroit at 7:30pm, arrives in Grand Rapids at 8:35pm on Thurs. Nov 19

For any of you planning to attend the homecoming at the airport, please take note of the new arrival time and let anyone else know that the time has changed! :)

A little detour...To Ethiopia?

2009-11-18T13:51:00.003-05:00

Gabe, Carol and the boys are safely at the Entebbe airport. Gabe says the boys are over-tired and running around the terminal like crazy, but he's hoping this will cause them to be tired enough to sleep through the whole flight. :)

When they got to the airport to check in, they learned that all the computer systems in the airport are down so the ticket agents are manually checking every person in by telephone and giving handwritten boarding passes to people (!!). He said they WERE able to get bulkhead tickets, which will be so much nicer for them. No one gave them any hassles in immigration, and the ticket agent was able to fix Judah's mis-spelled name "Sarif Lewis" to "Sharif Lewis" on his ticket (whew!). So they're now at the gate and glad the whole check-in process is finished.

Even though the plane is supposed to leave in one hour, he said only 60 people were actually checked in with them and at the gate...So he anticipates a delay even though they are still saying it will be on time. Also, there isn't enough fuel in Entebbe to fuel their plane for the whole trip so they have to stop in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to get enough fuel to complete the flight to Amsterdam. Yet another potential delay...But the worst thing that can happen is they miss their flight in Amsterdam and subsequent flight in Detroit.

Even if they end up being late...We STILL get our kids. ;) We're very easily pleased, and cannot complain! Please keep praying for smooth travels -- Thanks!

Visas --- CHECK!

2009-11-18T08:12:00.002-05:00

I just Skyped Gabe and he said he has the visas and passports in hand!! The plan had been for Carol to stay with the boys outside the embassy and play while Gabe went inside, since usually those visits take quite a while...But it turns out that it took him longer to get through security than it did to actually get the documents and visas! Now they are in Entebbe at a restaurant where the boys can really run and play for a few hours before getting on that plane. :)

I talked to Judah and to Micah -- Judah said very soft-spoken "I love yous" and Micah sang a Sunday School song with me. Gabe said he and Carol have been talking about the airplane to the boys, but they are truly clueless about exactly where they're going and all that is implied by "going on the airplane."

Imagine their surprise when in 30 hours they not only see Mommy but a bunch of happy people they've never met before. I can't help but wonder if this is sort of what heaven will be like someday... :)

Thank you so very much for praying! They're almost here!

Come Join The Welcome Home Party!!!

2009-11-17T18:30:00.005-05:00

We've got tickets!! With 20 hours to spare, even! HA! ;)

Here are the details:

Gabe, Carol, Micah and Judah leave Jinja tomorrow morning (Uganda time) and arrive at the Embassy in Kampala by 3pm to pick up those precious visas (!!!). Then they head over to the airport in Entebbe around 7pm.

(Wednesday) Entebbe to Amsterdam: 10:55pm - 5:35am
Amsterdam to Detroit: 8:40am-11:40am (EST)
(Thursday) Detroit to GRAND RAPIDS: 1:45pm - 2:40pm(EST)

For those of you who are able, COME ON DOWN to the airport on THURSDAY before 2:30pm and join in the JOY!!!

(If any of you can bring a video camera and/or digital camera, I'd love it if you could document this moment for us -- Gabe has our cameras packed in his carry-on, and I doubt he'll be thinking too much about taking photos once he gets off the plane. :) )

Yeah!! Praise God!!

2009-11-17T06:00:00.004-05:00

Thank God I was able to see the consular this morning around 9:00am local time and complete the visa application process for our boys. We will be picking up their visas at 3pm tomorrow and heading directly to the airport from there to return to the States! Our flight arrives in Grand Rapids on Thursday afternoon.

I was feeling rather ill during the night and somewhat better this morning. Please continue to pray for health for us all, smooth traveling, and well behaved boys.

The woman at the Embassy who received my payment for the boys' visas commented on their pictures, "They are smiling from the heart!" We too are smiling from our hearts today on the eve of our trip home!

Have Patience

2009-11-17T00:11:00.003-05:00

If only I were up late at night with Judah & Micah...
Passing the time with them instead of by myself in our house in Holland, Michigan...'
We would sing this song together as we wait for news from Daddy. Most definitely.

We used to sing the "Patience Song" at many supper times together in Jinja, as one of the boys would inevitably start whining about food not being the right thing, the right temperature, or brought to them speedily enough. :) They love this song...And I do, too. In fact, I think I'll have it running through my mind as I go to sleep way past my bedtime and dream of a phone call from Gabe early in the morning about some very important news.

Have patience.
Have patience.
Don't be in suuuch a hurry.

When you get.
Impatient.
You only starrrt to worry.

Remember.
Remember.
That God is patient, too.

And don't forget the times when others have to wait for YOU.

Pray

2009-11-16T05:37:00.002-05:00

I was sadly unable to see the consular this morning and complete the visa application for our boys due to her being out sick. I have been assured that I can take care off things tomorrow morning even if she is not yet well. Please pray that tomorrow morning I would indeed be able to finish that part of the process and that the visas would be ready for us to pick up on Wednesday. Also pray that seats still be available tomorrow for Wednesday night's flight (or the first night after the visas will be available, if it's not Wednesday) as we are unable to reserve the seats till we know for sure which day we will be able to leave.

More Photos

2009-11-15T08:53:00.010-05:00

As we wait through the weekend to see what develops on Monday I decided to post some more pictures from the past couple weeks. I hope you enjoy them.

In no particular order...

This morning Judah discovered Dad's shirt in the laundry and figured out how to get it on. Absolutely precious.

Micah of course had to get in on the action somehow.

They both love wearing blankets tied around their heads and dancing around the room.

I decided to do at least one touristy thing with my Mom while she's here so we went on a boat ride to the source of the Nile. I believe "snake bird" is the name for the bird above drying it's wings on a rock.

I have no idea what kind of bird this is, but it looked cool and let the boat get really close to it.

Were were able to see a number of monkeys playing in the trees near the source.

More monkeys.

Some of the wildlife (or not so life) that they don't tell you about in the tourist guide.

A fisherman casting his net. I've tried on three different trips to catch this shot, so was happy to finally catch him in mid-cast.

Another shot of the net being cast.

Yet more net casting. It was a good day for these pictures.

Dad, Grandma, and our two boys in the boat.

Micah was thrilled to talk to Mommy via Skype the other day.

More Joy (he could see Anna on the screen to the upper right).

Two sleepy boys one morning a few days ago enjoying a good read with Grandma.

Practicing their balancing acts.

Micah decided to put his glasses on the bear the other day and was very proud of this accomplishment.

Yet more fun talking to Mom, this time she called our cell.

Micah's imagination has been growing leaps and bounds this past week or two, and the other day he decided his car was a camera and was walking around pretending to snap pictures with it.
While I was in Kampala on Friday he decided his chair was a taxi and loaded it down with all the animals and dolls to go for a ride.
This was adorable. Last week one day Judah was more tired than usual by dinner time and totally fell asleep right in the middle of eating.

Two weeks ago Grandma got this series of shots while I was playing with the boys on the couch. Judah was practicing his body parts (eye, nose, mouth, etc... ) and pointing rather hard at each object as he said the word.

Eye! Ouch!

Mouth (or perhaps Beard - a word I just realized he knows this morning).

Reading them a bedtime story.

The ever enjoyable blow bubbles and pop them game.

Going for a walk in the stroller with Daddy.

Finally, one of Micah's favorite games: "giddy up!"

Hope you've enjoyed this. We'll have more news on Monday.

Visa Process

2009-11-13T07:20:00.003-05:00

Today I was able to pick up the boys passports (and what a joy it was to finally hold those documents in my hand - and to see my own last name behind Micah's!). I was also able to drop them and all other remaining paperwork off at the US embassy for their visas. However, the consular was not in the office today, so I was regrettably not able to get a firm date for the completion of the visa processing. We still believe that they will be completed by midweek next week, but I won't know for sure till I return to the embassy on Monday.

We are overjoyed to be at this point, and are now more than ever very eagerly anticipating being together again as a family in our own home in MI. I am counting the hours (though it's hard to do not knowing for sure which day we'll be returning).

We would still appreciate your prayers for the visas to be completed quickly next week, that seats would be available on the planes for the day we want to leave, for continued good health, and for "travelers mercies" as we take two 8 hour flights with two young and very energetic little boys.

Passports

2009-11-12T21:48:00.002-05:00

Just a very quick post to let you all know that Gabe got the call today that the passports are finished and waiting for him to pick them up tomorrow morning. He will travel to Kampala early tomorrow morning and go with our lawyer to sign for the passports to be released from the passport office. Then, he heads to the Embassy to drop off the court documents, passports, and $$ for the visas. He has been told in 4 different conversations with the Embassy in the past two days that he only needs to drop the things off and meet with the consular for about 15 minutes, since we already did our visa interview back in October. Tomorrow he will confirm the consular's original statement to us that it would only take 24-48 hours' processing time for the boys' visas...We really hope to have them done by Wednesday if at all possible.

We consider ourselves extremely, extremely blessed today as we've heard such difficult news from the other two families that they won't be able to get visa interview dates for many weeks to come. This blows our minds, since originally in October we only planned on a "meet & greet" with the consular because I was leaving for the States a few days later. As we said in a previous post, the consular was the one who said "lets get all this paperwork done now so you don't have to do it later." We had no idea we could get all that done! Two hours later we left with about 90% of our paperwork completed. It was simply a huge relief at the time, but now I realize that providential meeting shaved potentially many more weeks off of our wait time in Uganda.

Stay tuned for more.

Encouraging Link

2009-11-11T21:11:00.003-05:00

Tonight I stumbled upon a link to Saddleback Church's Orphan Care Connection. A few quotes and paragraphs contained within this web page really jumped out at me... I praise God for stories like these of ordinary Christians being joyfully obedient to Christ's command to care for the orphaned and the vulnerable ones. Awesome.

"We are no longer content to just feel bad when we see a picture of an orphaned
child; we have decided that God holds us responsible for the 143 million boys
and girls around the world without moms and dads. We realize we have been given
much, and therefore, much is required of us...The primary motivator...should not
be guilt, but God's Word, coupled with compassion and born out of love."

Photo Update

2009-11-09T13:38:00.006-05:00

Dear friends, it's time for another photo update. But before I give an account of what the pictures are about, I thought I'd update you on my day. I spent a long day in Kampala getting paperwork compiled so I could submit a file for review as the first step of getting passports for our boys. To make a long story very short, I had to go to 4 different offices to make various copies of different things, and wait for a couple hours to get a stamp on one set of papers. At the end of the day though, I had successfully completed everything and delivered the files to the appropriate office for review. Please pray with us that this review, and the subsequent passport application process, would go quickly and smoothly.

Now for some pictures. First up are a number I took while playing with some stickers Mommy sent last week.

Here you can just see one of at least three new teeth just poking through Judah's gums as he laughs with glee after putting a sticker onto a sheet of paper.

Judah loves putting stickers (and tape and anything else that sticks - including beans from his supper) onto his forehead and then leaving them there for hours.

Micah would concentrate very hard on carefully peeling a single sticker off the sheet and then deliberately placing it somewhere on the paper.

After which he would erupt into a very loud "yeahhhh!" and clapping of hands with a huge proud smile.

He did this after every single sticker he put down.

Here now we have a rare moment of the boys sleeping in contact with one-another and not waking up. Somehow Micah can tell, in his sleep, if it's his brother touching him or anyone else. Anyone else and it helps him calm down and sleep better. Judah on the other hand, and I'll soon hear a cry of discontent from the bed. This nap time however they fell asleep like this and I figured I'd better take advantage of the brotherly moment and snap a picture.

Here we have two little boys playing with Grandma's shoes. They love putting on big shoes and clomping around the house. Oddly, Judah seems to prefer wearing only one shoe, which makes him considerably lopsided given how big they are for him.

Here are a couple memorable moments from another session with Mommy's stickers. Micah was trying to stick things to his nose, so I helped a little and made him a mustache. He loved it.

Judah, needing to be like his big brother, immediately wanted something stuck to his nose/upper lip. I didn't have any convenient mustache-ish pieces, but he didn't know the difference and was quite happy with anything stuck to his face.

Finally a fun day with blocks. Above Micah gives his brother a big hug as they smile for the camera. I was trying to take a picture of them pushing the cart together nicely, but Micah saw the camera and decided he should give Judah a hug while saying "cheese!" I'm not entirely sure how Judah felt about that.

I did finally get a shot of them pushing their cart (complete with tower) together.

You may remember the story of this tower from one of Anna's posts a few days ago. Micah was having trouble getting the tower to stand up on the back of that little truck, so I helped him. Eventually we had all the blocks stacked up very high.

Micah was very proud of this achievement and posed for quite a few pictures.

Then the sad ending. What's the point of a tower on a truck if you can't push it around? Trouble is this tower was unstable and built of hard wooden blocks. About a second after this picture was snapped the tower fell on his head and he had a good cry. No injuries, just shock and surprise and a few bumps.

November 8: Orphan Sunday

2009-11-07T22:45:00.005-05:00

Before I crawl into bed tonight, I sit here in tears...Reflecting that at this very moment in little Jinja, Uganda, there sleeps two precious toddlers who are orphans no more.

The term "orphan" is no longer valid. Instead, the words "loved," "belong," and "beloved son" reside somewhere in their tiny hearts where once there was emptiness.

Even though Micah and Judah were born in our hearts long ago, we can now say that even government has affirmed that which the LORD ordained long before. Praise be to God alone!

Tonight, the staggering and tragic statistic of 143,000,000+ orphans worldwide no longer includes Micah Joel Kalmbacher and Judah Benjamin Kalmbacher....

And although my heart takes a few moments to rejoice for Micah & Judah, it breaks for all the orphan hearts tonight who sleep afraid in their beds, have no hope of consolation when nightmares come, and who do not know if they dare hope for love.

Is it possible that somewhere out there tonight, your son or daughter is waiting for you to find them?

Orphan Sunday Prayer
(from www.orphansunday.org)

Dear Father,

On this Orphan Sunday, we join with Your people across our country and beyond to pray for orphans.

We know that love for these precious children begins not with us, but with You. You pursued us when we were wayward and alone. You adopted us as your children. You invite us to address you as Daddy and to live as Your sons and daughters. Truly, we love because You first loved us.
You tell us also that You are near to the downtrodden and destitute. Your heart aches for children that face the world alone. You champion the cause of those who have no one else to take their side. And You call us to do the same.

So we pray that You would rouse us to share your heart. We ask that You would stir Your people to passion and vision and action on behalf of children that have no family.

We lift up to You the millions of children in the world who have lost their parents to disease, to war, to addiction, to poverty, to abandonment. As You promise to do, place the lonely in families. Be their defender, their provider, their hope and peace. Help us to do the same.

We pray also for the five hundred thousand children in our foster system in America. So often, they are bounced from home to home, knowing little love, consistency or true nurture. Please be their love, their consistency, their nurture. Help us to do the same.

We confess that we have often lived with little regard for these precious lives. Please forgive us. Lead us to take up their cause, not in guilt or obligation, but as a joyful response to Your great love for us.

As we do, we pray that You would use our humble response to transform. To transform the lives of countless orphans both physically and spiritually. To transform us as we encounter You in them. To transform Your Church as we lift our eyes beyond our own comfort and self-focused religion to live out the painful beauty of the Gospel. And finally, to transform a watching world as it catches glimpses of Your love made visible through the actions of Your people.

We commit all this to You, the One who is both our Father and a Father to the fatherless, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Sweet --- MORE Good News!

2009-11-06T13:13:00.003-05:00

Hey Everyone! I just wanted to make you all aware of some news Gabriel found out this afternoon (his time)...

We were given our written ruling and order today in addition to the verbal ruling he wrote about previously! With a few exceptions, it's generally unheard of to get a verbal ruling and a written ruling on the same day!! So we are shocked and blessed and oh-so-happy.

This means that first thing on Monday, paperwork can be submitted to a committee for approval of our request to apply for Micah and Judah's passports. We have no idea how long this will take, since we are one of the first families to go before this committee instead of the official who used to do this alone. I guess we'll just have to wait some more and see what happens! Stay tuned. :)

It's Official

2009-11-06T03:19:00.002-05:00

Praise the Lord, I just got word that the ruling today was positive! This means the rest of our time here is mostly just a matter of waiting the process through, and doing some paperwork. Pray with us that getting the ruling written and getting the boys' passports will not take more than a couple weeks. I'd very much like to be home before Thanksgiving.

Verbal Ruling Tomorrow

2009-11-05T21:07:00.003-05:00

Hello Friends~

Just a little reminder that tomorrow, FRIDAY, is our anticipated verbal ruling date. So far, we know that the King family received their favorable ruling on Wednesday, and we are pretty certain that the Doyles received theirs today(?). Needless to say, we're excited to be at this point!! Praying for favor and for a very swift written ruling/order to follow at the beginning of next week. We are really excited to check these big accomplishments off our list as the end to our process in Uganda gets closer and closer every day.

Also, for all you prayer warriors...Please be praying for truth!! Today has been an intense day of spiritual warfare; very disturbing and close to our hearts. We love you for many reasons, but particularly when you stand in the gap with us and other families embracing adoption.

Love,

Anna

What I've been enjoying lately...

2009-11-04T09:46:00.002-05:00

With two weeks separated from my family (and counting), emails haven't been this important to me since a few years ago when Gabe and I were dating. Gabe, always wanting to make me feel included in their lives in Jinja, has sent so many emails filled with anecdotes of the boys' days and how they are changing and growing. I relish every word!

I thought you may like to hear excerpts of what I've been reading lately....

From yesterday: "Micah has started wanting to wipe his own bottom after using the toilet. Of course he's really not good at it at all, so I just let him take a couple swipes with some paper after I've cleaned him up and taken him off the seat. It's cute. He also wants to wipe after every time he goes to the toilet, even if all he did was pee. They're both being very good about that. The last couple times Judah has gotten a little in his diaper before we get him to the potty, but it has been some time since either of them pooped without asking to use the toilet and doing at least some on the potty. Such smart kids we have :)"

From yesterday: "Right now Micah is attempting to build a tower of wooden blocks on the back of a toy truck and then drive it around. I helped him make it the first time and we made it very tall - but when he tried to move the truck it fell on his head and hurt him a little. Now he's getting frustrated trying to build it on his own again, so I think I'd better sign off now and go help again."

From Monday: "Honey, I hope your day is going well. So far my evening is going well I'd say. We had fried rice for supper - with beef bits. Judah ate it all of course, and Micah ate the rice. Also had bits of beans mixed in. We followed that up with some really good pineapple that the house-helper bought for us today. Then took the boys off to their bath which they enjoyed. Followed by new diapers and a thorough rub down with the "sleeping baby" cream. Then story time to go to sleep. I read "We're Going On a Bear Hunt" at least 4 or 5 times. It's actually a fairly long story, but Micah loves it. Judah was being extremely restless and wanting to run around the room and play with stuff. Micah was lying nicely next to me and listening to the story quietly, occasionally pointing out the dog or the mud. Grandma finally lay down next to Judah and that was enough to keep him on the bed till he was mostly asleep. He kept rubbing his eyes very hard even after he was asleep until I held his hands away and got him to fall into a deeper state of sleep. After finally stopping the reading I lowered the light level to near totally dark and Micah decided to climb on top of me, where he fell asleep within a minute. I lay there enjoying this rare opportunity for a while, and then gradually transitioned him onto the mattress."

From Monday: "They were so tired that when we laid down for a nap just before 2:00 I made it through one and half stories when Micah told me to stop - his exact words were "no, no!" Judah was already asleep, and within a minute or two of my stopping Micah was also sound asleep. I think all the fun and excitement of running around a new house and being afraid of the dogs left them a little more tired than usual."

From Sunday: "Honey, it's a typical Sunday morning in many ways. They boys slept from 8:00 last night to 7:00 this morning, so may almost have gotten too much sleep. They've been alternating between being terribly cute and then whining. Earlier for a few minutes they were taking turns running up to me and giving me big hugs. It was adorable. Judah has been frustrated a couple times this morning with things that just can't be helped. First, he put a sticker on a piece of paper, then tore it off and wanted that same sticker to stick again. Obviously it couldn't since it now had torn off paper stuck to the back side. So he ended up crying and very angry because there was nothing I could do to help him get what he wanted. Then, just a few minutes ago, Grandma was putting a band-aid on her toe and so gave each of them a band-aid as well. Judah for some reason insisted on trying to stick the wrong side to his leg - which of course doesn't stick at all. When I tried to do it the right way he threw a fit, tore it off, and tried the wrong way again. We eventually had to just take it away because he was working himself into such a fit over something that couldn't be done. Poor kid. I just held him as he cried dramatically - It was clear that he wasn't trying to be bad, he just was confused and frustrated. Thankfully the difference in the sound of his cry is usually fairly obvious... But now he's happily playing with my pocket knife (closed of course), and Micah's having fun with the two cars. In a few minutes we'll go down to church for singing, and then hopefully be able to play peacefully in the yard outside church for the duration of the service. Then, lunch and trying to get them down for an early nap."

From last week: "I felt so bad this evening when I went to get food for supper down at the house. It was going to pour imminently, so I was hoping to run down there, grab food, and run back before I got soaked. But Micah once again decided he wanted to go with me, and I really hated telling him to stay with Grandma. I knew if he came he'd be quite unhappy about the rain on his head and would slow me down considerably. Also if I let him come, then why not Judah, who by that time had decided he wanted to go too. But it was really hard to hear him crying as I left the room, knowing all he wanted was to come with and be like Daddy."

Timing

2009-10-31T17:29:00.007-04:00

Today, I challenged myself to sort through photos taken over the past 9 weeks and figure out which ones I want to have printed to add to the boys' Lifebooks. As I sit home by myself in Holland, Michigan, and pine away for my three guys in Jinja, Uganda...I figure there won't be many more days to spend unlimited amounts of time scrapbooking once the little ones finally arrive home.

Tough, tough job trying to sort through THOUSANDS of pictures of my favorite people. I ended up barely making it from August 23 through to September 15!

Even though the files are many, the hard part is not the volume to sort through but the raw memories that inevitably come flooding back as I start reminiscing and reliving the past 2+ months of our lives. Although today I failed to meet my personal quota of "all photos sorted by the end of the day," it felt incredibly good so simply be, to remember, and to be refreshed on this journey that can really be oh-so-tiring. A time to reflect, and a time to be in awe of what God is up to.

I came across this photo below which really jolted me...
It commanded my attention back to those exhausted and sick little boys who were waiting for me at Amani when I arrived a little over two months ago. So ready for their family...Physically, emotionally, relationally. The day after this photo was taken, my mom and I took them out of the orphanage to live with us. Both boys were diagnosed with double ear infections and Micah was diagnosed with bilateral pneumonia. As the weeks continued, both of them got healthier on LOTS of medicine, LOTS of food, and LOTS of love from their very own mommy and grandma. It was then that I heard comments from "mamas" and "aunties" at Amani who said things like, "It's so good to see Micah looking so fat and healthy...for about a month before you came, it seemed like all he ever did was cry."

For those of you who know Gabe & me personally, you remember how compelled I felt in July and August that I simply had to go. Court date or no, August 23 was the day I had to begin my physical journey from America to Africa to "Start being a mother, for goodness' sake." At the time it didn't make sense to go in August, and I kept rationalizing in my mind why I should not travel until we knew our court date. You know - Be practical and wait until the legal process was all lined up before we left. Yet through two distinct dreams and in quiet moments I knew to leave any later than August 23 would be wrong. Listen to reason, or go with my heart?

I decided to go with my heart. With the Holy Spirit nudging me, I knew this issue of my departure date was yet another chance to exercise obedience as I placed our children ahead of money, ahead of my job, ahead of "what makes sense." Gabe was very supportive of what I knew to be true. My coworkers were very supportive. People who believed were crazy decided not to say anything at all (thank you! :)). And so I went...Not knowing why I was going...But simply going because I had to.

I didn't begin to know the significance of my arrival until the day that the above photo was taken. Originally, our plans involved checking Micah and Judah out of the orphanage closer to our court date. Now I know that none of us would have lasted that long of a wait. I once had grand ideas of fun days with the boys in and out of Amani, taking them back to Amani at supper time, and having long and relaxing evenings visiting with my mom and Judy and doing lots of reading. But after being reunited with the boys and seeing the way they were, it did not take long for a bawling Anna to write a very emotional email explaining to Gabe how sick Micah was and informing him that we had to bring the boys out immediately. Gabe said, "Do what you think is best, honey."

There are plenty of other details I don't feel comfortable sharing in public domain. But what I now know to be true is that in spite of a combined running stay in Uganda coming close to 3 months, I know that my decision to come in August is one that I will never regret. Two months after I arrived, I left Uganda without even the satisfaction of seeing the judge. And yet I had the absolute honor of being my sons' nurse, their very own mommy, their dietitian, their personal attendant, and the list goes on. I was there to sing them to sleep when they woke up crying in the middle of the night. I was there through Micah's 14 days of Augmentin, 5 days of Zithromax, and 14+ days of Ammoxicillin (as of Thursday, Micah is back on Zithromax for his recurring ear infection). I will not be in Uganda for the next weeks of sequential legal proceedings and requirements being fulfilled. But I know in my heart that if I had waited until the time that it "made sense"to go, it would have been wrong timing.

Thank you, Jesus, for making your will known to your people...And for always being right on time.

Waiting

2009-10-30T12:10:00.008-04:00

We're in that time between the court date and our ruling when there is really nothing at all we can do for anything. We just wait. And since the "big day" is passed, the days seem to drag on a little longer than before for me.

We took the boys to the pool this morning to get us all out of our room and do something different. It has also been rainy the last few days so we wanted to take full advantage of a sunny morning. The boys loved the water, but we didn't get any pictures in the water since my Mom and I each had a kid to handle. This was taken as we waited for our chips for lunch/snack.

On the way home the boys were so tired from all their playing in the water that they both fell asleep, even though it was 2 hours before nap time. I thought for sure Micah would stay awake riding on my shoulders, but I was wrong. After a couple minutes I felt him slump over my head and knew he was out. There was nothing for it but to let them sleep - and sleep they did for the next three hours.

This is a typical evening watching Vegietales with Grandma before going to sleep.

They love to dress up in hats and sheets and such and prance around the room.

The other day I made a "cave" out of one of the bunk beds by hanging sheets on two of the sides. The boys loved it and we've done it every day since.
Bear-hugging little brother from behind.
Now I'll take you back a few days to the night before the court date. I woke up at 2:00 AM and wasn't sure why until it started to pour rain a few minutes later. I was thankful God woke me up because the wind was driving the rain in our windows and I spent the next half an hour stuffing towels in the windowsills to keep out the water, pulling the boys mattress and some of our luggage away from the windows, and sopping up water from the floor. I was praying that this was not a portent of how the court date would go. Thankfully the lightning and thunder didn't wake the boys up, so they were able to get a good night's sleep before going to court.

Judah and Grandma having some fun with a pen and notebook.
Micah took a turn "driving" while we were stopped for gas on the way to court.
A couple evenings ago we saw a huge plume of black smoke and looked out the second story windows to see this enormous line of flames (they reached well above the tree tops at times). We asked what it was and were told that the papyrus in the swamp and near the edge of the lake gets burning sometimes and produces huge flames - but thankfully wasn't a threat to anyone.
The boys playing their drums and singing together one afternoon.
So we fill our days with whatever we find to do, and wait for our ruling. A few days ago I was blessed to get a call from some missionary friends of ours here that we met at church a while back. They are going on vacation next week and were wondering if we'd like to house-sit for them and take care of their dogs while they're gone. I said yes! So from this Sunday to the following Monday we'll have a whole house and yard to ourselves with the boys. It will be a nice change of scenery for my Mom and I and will give the boys a chance to start getting used to living in a real house, instead of a single room. It's also just a couple doors down from some other friends of ours who have a little boy around the age of our boys, so it'll be easy to visit them a couple times next week. We're praising the lord for this opportunity.

Relief

2009-10-27T08:32:00.002-04:00

Thank you very much to all of you who have been praying for us. The process is not finished, but one of the biggest hurdles is now past us. This morning at 10:00 we arrived at court to hear the great news that the judge was in fact there.

There were a number of cases before ours however so we were ushered into a waiting area where they thankfully had some kids chairs and toys to occupy the kids. We were there for close to two hours with about 5 or 6 other families going through a similar process as ours (though most of them through other orphanages or organizations). The two families we had come with went before us and each case went well. Then, as the last case before ours came out of the judge's offices I saw them close the door behind them. I immediately started wondering if she had decided to quit for the day or something, but was relieved when the lawyer told me that she had just stopped for a tea break and we were next up.

The boys were well behaved through most of the hearing (we fed them all the popcorn they could want, and kept them busy rubbing drops of hand sanitizer in their hands). The only question I got asked was what state I lived in. Other than that our lawyer handled the whole thing. After about 20 minutes of trying hard to keep the boys quiet the judge announced that we would get our ruling on the 6th of November. And that was it! The very long anticipated court date was over and done with.

The boys and I all slept most of the way back home, and we are now just playing in our room and trying to unwind from the morning. As far as I know this is the last time I have to drag them along for anything - I, or our lawyer, should be able to do everything else from here on out without the kids being present. I'm very thankful for this since spending 4 hours in a car and being in Kampala is hard on us all and really throws their daily routine off, which tends to make them grumpy for the rest of the day.

So praise the Lord with us that the court date is finally done. Knowing that the ruling is on the 6th, we are still hoping that we can all be home by Thanksgiving, but not likely too much before. Please continue to pray that the final pieces of paperwork (the court order, passports, and visas - in that order) will get done quickly so we can be home as soon as possible. None of these can be done till after the ruling, and they have to be done sequentially.

News

2009-10-26T11:38:00.003-04:00

I hurried home from a meeting at work to have a video-Skype date with Gabe and the boys (and Malia and Judy too!). Just got off a little bit ago. Gabe had news to share that our court date has been rescheduled for Tuesday (TOMORROW) at 10am Uganda time, 3am Eastern time.

When I first heard the news, I was very happy but equally dreading the possibility of yet another disappointment. We know the outcomes belongs to the Lord...The boys WILL come home to us... Yet I have mentally prepared for such a big day so many times that it almost seems too good to be true that the judge would actually show up tomorrow and would actually give us a favorable and timely ruling.

However, I know these words to be true: "For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened" (Mat 7:7-9). Lord, we ask that you open every door.

If I were in Uganda right now, I would now be in the mode of busily packing snacks (REALLY good ones), diapers, wipes, extra clothes, toys (really FUN ones), doing some last-minute ironing of special clothes, and making sure all our important paperwork is in place. When I started asking Gabe about packing for tomorrow, my questions were calmly and sweetly answered by, "Honey, everything will be taken care of...It will all get done just fine." As much as my heart hurts to not be with Gabe and Micah and Judah during such an important event, I am blessed beyond measure to have an uber-responsible husband and delightful mother-in-law taking care of what needs to get done. Now is the time for me to sit back, PRAY for them, and wait patiently as there is literally not much else I can do from Holland, Michigan.

A few specific prayer points for those of you interested:
--Rest and refreshment for Gabe, Carol and the boys tonight since the morning will come early.
--Sweetheart boys with lots of smiles and charm and inside voices...
--Safe travel for the 2-3 hour trip from Jinja to Kampala and back.
--HEALTH! Gabe says the boys have been acting fussy lately and it's hard to know if they are feeling ill or if they're just missing mommy and adjusting to grandma.
--That the judge will show up, refreshed and in a good mood.
--For a VERY short turnaround on the verbal and written rulings (and favorable too, of course!).
--That there will absolute peace for everyone in and out of the court room. This is so much at stake and a lot of emotion for all three families after this string of disappointments.

...If any of you are wondering what I'll be doing at 3am...I certainly won't be sleeping.

What is going on??

2009-10-26T07:45:00.003-04:00

I just got off the phone with Gabriel this morning, and it sounds like they still haven't received word about a court hearing being tomorrow...That's what everyone has been hoping for. Day by day, it seems, there is renewed hope that the following day will be "it." But day after day, we go to bed without anything set in place.

We really don't know what to do...We have hope that our lawyer is actually doing what he can to get our date scheduled, but we have absolutely no idea what the attitude or availability of the clerk or the judge is. Once again...Hanging out. Waiting. Praying. When will it be our turn?

I just finished working a rather busy weekend at Hospice...Not busy in the typical sense, but busy because I've been gone for such a long time and my mind isn't quite working in the groove that it did 9 weeks ago. One of the things I love about my job is that it never fails to challenge me to act outside myself...So what if the judge won't work on our timing half a world away? My attention is inevitably distracted and captivated by the fact that someone's mother is dying, or someone's dad needs a place to stay for his last days. It is a blessing to have situations to pour love into when so many people have poured love and support into our adoption.

Thanks, friends. We love you!

So much to tell.

2009-10-23T05:26:00.005-04:00

I'm back in Michigan, now. Back to our cute little house...to our plump kitty cats...to cold and rainy weather. Back to driving on the "right" side of the road...to my own bed...to my kitchen which I have missed cooking in. Back to friends, family, and church family who are much more than I deserve (you know who you are). Back to missing two little someones...And of course their daddy.

Perhaps someone more eloquent than myself could articulate the phenomena of not really going through "culture shock" upon return to the States....But rather seeing "my life in America" and "my life in Africa" as two separate entities...

After Arnold and I landed in Detroit yesterday and he was reunited with his beautiful family, I found myself walking in one of those "I'm back" fogs as I made my way to gate A17 for my connection to Grand Rapids...Surrounded by busy, bustling travelers on their cell phones and the familiar waft of McDonalds fench fries mingling with a very distinct and semi-sterile airport smell. "Ok, back to this life" is the exact thought that went through my mind. Not necessarily excited to be here, really -- Who could be excited about coming "home" when the people who make my home a home are now half a world away?

However, yesterday there was the undeniable relief of being in a comfortable and familiar place where life isn't just so...well...hard. I generally wouldn't describe myself as a person who is very keen on living life the comfortable and familiar simply because it's easy. Yet arriving in Detroit made me realize just how tired I really am...I just wanted to go home and spend a few days sitting on my bed and staring out my window as the past 2 months' worth of life might have a chance to seep into the processing part of my brain.

Joy that the Lord enabled me to bring home a precious little Arnold to his forever family...Thankfulness for the Lord's healing touch on my body as I traveled with the Malaria symptoms which I knew might not make the trip very enjoyable. Sadness at the reminder that yet again I have come home without my sons - Once last November, and now this October. Excitement that I can get back home to put more pictures on the walls and make my house a home, preparing for the time when my precious husband arrives in Grand Rapids with Micah & Judah in his arms. Renewed focus on "doing what needs to be done next." Seeking and yearning to hear the Lord more clearly as I have allowed so much activity in the past 2 months to distract me more than I wanted. All these emotions and more came flooding up to my teary eyes yesterday as I proceeded to gate A17 at Detroit Metro Airport.

(By the way, while standing and waiting at gate A17, I saw none other than President and Mrs. Bultman walk right by me with their carry-ons in tow. Mrs. Bultman looked as stylish as ever in a very pretty autumn orange blazer. ;))

I woke up at 3:30am this morning, reminiscent of my return to Michigan and the incredible jet lag I experienced last December when I came home from Uganda and stayed at dear Barbara's home on Pine Avenue. The dull headache...The inability to sleep...The intense hunger at a very odd time of day. I decided to Skype my loved ones and spent a beautiful hour talkin to Gabe, blowing kisses to the boys via video Skype, and singing the VeggieTales song (yet) again. In two days, they haven't changed a bit. ;)

Court next week?

2009-10-22T14:18:00.002-04:00

Just a brief update to let you all know that we will NOT be going to court tomorrow as hoped. Our lawyer is now trying for Monday.

Anna should be in Detroit by now meeting with Arnold's family and delivering him to them. I'm very glad for them that they finally have their son after a long ordeal of their own. Praise the Lord! She will continue on to Grand Rapids and Holland in a couple hours.

This is the end of my first full day with the boys and no Mom. They asked about her fairly regularly throughout the day, but never got upset when I told them that we'd "go see mommy later." Praise the Lord for that. They have been very well behaved and things are going smoothly so far. One more day of this and then my own Mom will be here to help.

Today when Micah woke up from his nap he immediately wanted to go outside, get in the stroller, and go for a walk into town. It is interesting how he knows exactly what he wants sometimes (and sticks to it even when presented with other options that he would normally like).

Half Way Home

2009-10-22T00:21:00.002-04:00

I got an email this morning from Anna in the Amsterdam airport. She and Arnold have made it half way home without any incident. He apparently slept the whole flight and they are getting along well. It's a blessing for her to be able to "mother" a little one on the way back since she wasn't able to return with our own boys.

My boys keep asking for "Mom" and pointing outside every now and then, clearly wondering where she is. But they are behaving well and playing nicely this morning. No sign that they are concerned about her return which is good. We are praying that for the next few weeks they can be content that "we'll go to Mommy soon" and not fear that she's left them for good.

Thanks for your continued prayers. Still no word on our next court date. Clearly not today - hopefully tomorrow (Friday).

Mom's off

2009-10-21T14:59:00.002-04:00

I heard a few minutes ago that Anna made it safely to the airport this evening. She had been stuck in a traffic jam in Kampala a couple hours ago and was worried that she wouldn't make her flight. Thanks all for your prayers! She has been feeling better today though still running a low grade fever and generally unwell (see post below for more details). Please continue to pray that she is well for her travels.

The boys so far are taking her absence fairly well. They have been very clingy all afternoon since their naps, so I think they sense that something is different though they might not consciously be able to understand it. We arranged for Anna to leave during their nap so they wouldn't be crying when she left, and so they hopefully can transition more smoothly into not having her around. They saw her sandals outside the door this evening and immediately proclaimed "Mommy!" Also, at supper, it took some time to convince them that we should pray even though Mom wasn't there. They kept pointing to her chair and saying "Mum!"

On the whole though they have been doing well (it's only been 6 hours since she left, but seems like a long time to me already). They went to sleep watching VegieTales at around 8:30 as usual. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

We were unable to secure a new court date today, so we are now praying that we can go in Friday, but just have to continue to wait on word from our Lawyer. Again, thanks all for your continued prayers.

Malaria

2009-10-21T07:59:00.002-04:00

Thanks, everyone, for your emails and prayers over the past 24 hours. Please keep them coming; still not word of a rescheduled court date yet.

Gabe and I just got "home" with the boys here after a fun lunch with Judy and Malia...Given my persistent low-to-high grade fevers since last night, I went to get a malaria test and found out that I do have malaria. I found it slightly humorous to see the lab technician's face of surprise when he turned around from his microscope and proclaimed in the presence of a small gathering of other patients waiting on the bench, "You have MALARIA!" (As if it's been a while since he's seen a white person test positive for malaria?) Gabe's and my first responses were, "Oh, good. Glad that's all it is." I have had a lingering dread that it might be something contagious.

Even though I feel far from wonderful, I am able to function just fine and will be on medication for the next few days. It only seems appropriate that I'd get malaria on my last day in Africa. :)

Now, off to pick up malaria medicine in town, Arnold at Amani, and then off to the airport...Thanks for continuing to pray with us for health, our legal process, and safety.

Disappoitments -- Tears -- Exhaustion

2009-10-20T12:53:00.003-04:00

Yet again, the judge stood us up today. We can't even describe how exhausting today was - physically, emotionally, etc. I do not have time for a long post, but suffice it to say that once again we did not see the judge (this time, she is on a trip to the North) and we have no idea when we will be rescheduled to see her. Our Lawyer is expecting Thursday, but won't find out till tomorrow.

I (Anna) will still fly back home to Michigan tomorrow night and will arrive in Grand Rapids at around 4pm on Thursday afternoon. Words cannot express how emotional I am about the fact that I will now be leaving Gabe and the boys with uncertainty about when we will finally have a successful court date. I wanted to be here SO much for this very important day...If the court hearing is rescheduled for this Thursday like we hope it will be for timeliness sake, Gabriel will be inbetween me leaving and his mom arriving on Satruday morning in Jinja. We're thankful that in the event he does have to take the kids to Kampala again on Thursday or Friday, an Amani volunteer has agreed to accompany them with the rest of the group and both M & J like her a lot.

Also - I received word today that I will be escorting another family's adopted child home with me as far as Detroit. Due to delays in their adoption process, the family is not able to come back to Uganda to escort him home...So it is convenient that I am coming home anyway and can bring him as far as Michigan. So even though I cannot bring my little ones home, I am delighted to be helpful in bringing little Arnold home to his awaiting family. Please pray for a smooth flight for both of us, as we do not know each other very well and I have lots of important paperwork I am responsible for to get him safely to Detroit. So pray for BOTH Arnold and myself as we journey home.

A word about spiritual warfare - We are in the THICK of it right now. I have been feeling phsically and emotionally ill all day today (not that I've been feeling amazing for the past 3 weeks, but so far it's been a tolerable form of lower G.I. issues of which I will spare you the details). I can honestly believe that the way I've felt today is largely due to spiritual attack in physical form...But tonight now that we are home, I am not feeling much better. Thinking ahead to traveling in a plane over a period of 24 hours, I am dreading the thought right now. Gabe and I are praying that all this I'm feeling will simply go away after a good night's sleep. As most of you know, I am never one to get sick. I haven't felt this way in about a year or so. I have no worries about "going through the motions" of getting home - I will certainly press onward - But the thought of a few miserable flights does not sound attractive at all right now.

A very good day at the US Embassy, with anticipation of tomorrow's court hearing...

2009-10-19T14:47:00.003-04:00

SO much has been going on lately in our daily lives, I realize we are really falling behind in keeping everyone updated! Both Gabe & I feel we've been in a whirlwind for the past week in particular... After I arrive home on Thursday, I hope to do some "back-blogging" which should be a lot of fun as I look back on our time in Uganda.

It's getting late, so I need to keep this brief. Today, we took the boys to Kampala to meet with the consular at the US Embassy. Since I am leaving Wednesday for the States and Gabriel will be the one to complete the process here with his mom, we needed to at least make contact with Zahara Hussein together since I happen to be listed as primary sponsor of the boys' immigration to the USA. We had a 2:00pm appointment, and our expectations for the meeting were that it wouldn't last much more than a few minutes since we did not think we could really "do" much until our written ruling, passports, etc, were completed and we applied for the boys' visas.

We were very pleasantly surprised that the consular suggested it would be a good idea for us to complete all pertinent paperwork right then and there, instead of waiting until we have all our ducks in a row on the Ugandan side of things later on. For an hour and forty-five minutes, she helped us work through all the documents necessary (I-600, I-864, DS-230, etc) and collected the boys' visa photos so all is waiting and ready. (She also had the boys' Surgery paperwork on her desk as well, which we were relieved to see!)

Since the boys were not doing a very wonderful job of being still or quiet in the approximately 6-foot by 6-foot cubicle room we were sitting in, the consular said that one of us could take the kids out to play outside. She even said we would not have to bother bringing them back for the visa interview later on since we brought Micah & Judah with us today for her to see them. Honestly - after one very long day of taking two energetic toddlers on a trip neither of them really wanted to be on, we are counting our blessings for one or two trips Gabe will be able to travel alone to Kampala instead of lugging the little guys with him.

Overall, Gabriel and I left Kampala very mentally tired but SO excited that we got about 80% of our US Embassy paperwork and requirements completed on a day we really did not expect for this to happen. Unfortunately we learned that we will have to pay multiple hundreds of dollars more in fees than we were budgeting for, since the boys are not biologically related. (If they were biological brothers, only one USCIS fee would be required. For any of you adopting two children who are not biologically related, we can tell you more if you're interested.) Even though we were surprised, we are at least glad to know this now.

So today was considered a very good success...Which leads us to TOMORROW. At 10am, we have our re-scheduled court date in Kampala. We really, really appreciate your prayers! Today was so encouraging to us; we seem to be enjoying some mental momentum that we did not have before last Thursday's original court date. Due to our exhaustion tonight, we are praying for adequate rest for the boys and for ourselves. It's going to be an early morning - we depart Jinja at 6:30am. It is an understatement to say that we cannot wait for tomorrow evening when such a big day is all said and done with!

Right now we continue to be reminded that the Lord is in control, that these children belong to Him, and that He would not bring us this far only to pull our precious boys away from our family. We trust His heart. Often Gabe & I comment to one another that this journey is really just too big for us to have thought it up in our own heads...It is actually quite humorous to us that we've been married 21 months and we now have two children 7 months apart in age and both of them are older than our marriage. Who would have thought?! It was the Lord who inspired this journey and has been directing us on this path. We are delighted to "show up," being a part of the action as the Lord makes two less orphans on this earth.